Well, you guessed it. We've got some major updates! Firstly, we received our homestudy on Friday morning which was a huge step forward! This allowed us to finally submit our I-600A in order to receive approval from immigration to classify orphans as immediate relatives and bring them into the United States! Approval can take a long time to get, depending on the state you're in and how well the system seems to be moving along at any given time. I was told to expect to receive our I-171H approval letter in about 4 weeks (after we got fingerprinted).
However, on Thursday night, we had some radical changes to our adoption plan. We have been planning on adopting from Ethiopia, and falling more and more in love with the country and its' people the more we learn about it. Yet, something unexpected came up this past week that I couldn't ignore. On the Ethiopian adoption forums I read every day, someone mentioned an agency was starting a Zambian program. Discussions about how easy/impossible adopting from Zambia would be. I'm not sure what did it for me, but I think I was just curious. I began researching Zambia, and mentioned it to mom and Joe. I didn't really think I would have a change of heart, or be interested in changing to Zambia. We're practically ready to submit our dossier for Ethiopia... why would we consider changing from a stable, established country to one that has never had any sort of international adoption program?
Well, after a couple of days of casual research, I asked Joe whether he thought I should look more seriously into the option of adopting from Zambia. Mind you, I was just waking up as I asked him, and he was heading out the door for work, so it was a brief question and answer. He responded with "No, I think we're pretty committed to Ethiopia at this point." So, that was that.
Problem is, I just can't stay focused once I get an interest in something. I don't know what exactly, but something that day kept causing my mind to drift back to Zambia. I even carried my laptop downstairs to work next to mom for a while and found out SHE was researching Zambia! Apparently it wasn't just me that was wondering about the possibility.
When Joe got home from work on Thursday, I brought it up with him again. This time, I was more informed about what it would mean to try and adopt from Zambia. During the course of the conversation, we agreed that we should try and adopt from Zambia. Holy smokes, talk about a change in course in just a couple of days time!
Well, that night, we re-typed our application for our I-600A up, this time listing the place of travel and embassy we would file our I-600 at as Lusaka, Zambia. Yikes! We are really doing this! It's exciting, scary, and also sad. We have met such wonderful families with such great kids through the Ethiopian adoptive community. We are leaving a stable, established program and pioneering our way through a new program. Yet, as I submitted our I-600A to the woman at the orphan petition unit at the Federal Building in Los Angeles, I felt confident with the decision we've made.
Now, I'm sure a million questions must be going through your minds. We HAVE been so excited about adopting from Ethiopia, and had no reason we needed to make the change, so what happened? Especially knowing that it's POSSIBLE we'll return from Zambia and our adoption attempt will have been unsuccessful. In which case, we'll return to our original plan of adopting from Ethiopia. It's tough to summarize our thoughts, but I'll try to explain.
First of all, Zambia has a staggering rate of orphans, and this is one thing that made us interested in adopting from Ethiopia. Yet, so far, there are barely any adoptions taking place, so the outlook for most of these orphans is quite poor. Wouldn't it be great if, while building our family, we could help pioneer this new program and open the doors of Zambia to Prospective Adoptive Parents (PAP)?
In addition to the high rate of orphans in Zambia, we were also excited, and scared, by the fact that you identify your own children. When we travel to Zambia, it will be for 3 or more weeks, and the first thing we do upon arriving is begin visiting the orphanages in Lusaka (the capitol of Zambia). There are 95 registered orphanages in Lusaka alone. Can you imagine? 95 orphanages?! It's a difficult thing to imagine how difficult it will be to identify the children we would like to adopt, knowing that most of the children we see will likely not ever get adopted. The part about Ethiopia that seems easier to me is that the children we would've seen at the care center would already be matched with families to be adopted... they have homes to go to soon.
QUICK FACT: The life expectancy in Zambia is 32 years. I'm sure you'll find slight variance in this number depending on the source, but this seems to be what I'm finding.
Ok, so not only are there a large number of orphans, but the paper side of the process is also much simpler than any other country right now. All you need is a completed, approved homestudy, and your I-171H. That's it! You're set to travel! I realize that for us, this doesn't really matter since I now have all of the documents needed for our Ethiopia dossier (except the I-171H that we're waiting for no matter what). Yet, for families that aren't as far along in their paperchase, this is a huge perk. It could save a few hundred dollars in document, notary, certification and authentication fees alone!
While there are a number of differences between the requirements and process between Ethiopia and Zambia, there are some mild similarities. Zambia is also very flexible on parental requirements, even more so than Ethiopia. The only requirement is that the parents be at least 25 yrs old. For us, this could also be the downfall. We have read that this is "frequently waived," but I don't know how much that is worth with this being a brand new program, how many families have been through before and were under 25? So, we're waiting to learn whether or not we have to wait until Joe's birthday in order to travel. I'd think not... but we'll see.
At this moment, if our I-171H comes through by the end of July, we'll probably look at traveling sometime between September and November. One factor will be whether our ages come into play, another is that Joe needs to talk to his work and discuss days off for the trip. Like I said, the trip will be at least 3 weeks... and the 3 weeks begins once we identify our children, which could take a few days. Plus, there are no guarantees, so we COULD end up needing to stay longer in order to get through court, get their passports and visas. Not to mention the fact that it'd be really tough for Joe to return to work immediately upon our return with our new kids. We'll need some amount of time to bond, settle in, and get something of a routine going. As for my job, I'm hoping I'll be able to work (at least part time or something) from Zambia, especially if we need to stay more than 3 weeks. That would really help if I could save more of my maternity leave/vacation time for our return home.
Anyway, at this point, I think I'm rambling. So much has come up, so quickly. On top of it all, we've been trying to deal with the water damage in the garage and planning/packing for our trip to South Africa. We leave in less than 48 hours. At this point, I haven't even begun to pack, but I HAVE written up a list of things we need to remember to bring! What a whirlwind!
Oh, and cross your fingers for us... we had a couple come see our house for the 3rd time today, and also had a second showing by a different family! Please let them make us an AWESOME offer before we take it off the market to leave town!
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
When it rains... it pours!
Ok, so I realize things could be much worse. I really do. I'm not the kind of person that enjoys being absorbed in self-pity or a state of perpetual whining. Alas, that is largely what is going to consume this post, I'm afraid, so be forewarned and do not proceed with reading this unless you're prepared!
Let me set the stage... it was a beautiful, sunny afternoon when Joe left for a ride on his bike. He loves mountain biking and was so thrilled to get out and enjoy an afternoon in the outdoors....
Psh, enough of that style. Here it is. Joe went out for a ride, and long story short, he did a major endo (for you non-mountain bikers - that means he flipped his bike, back end over the front, and not intentionally!). Upon crash landing he realized before all of the shock and pain set in that his shoulder wasn't right. He's got a problem with that darn shoulder partially dislocating in these bike accidents he occasionally has. So, before the shock factor wore off, he did a full rotation of the shoulder to get it to move back into the joint. OUCH! Then, he realized his right wrist was hurting...badly. And, his left forearm was skinned up and filled with cactus needles. AND, his right knee was missing a few chunks of skin. Oh yummy. But, what did Joey do? He got back on his bike and struggled along the trail for another hour before heading home so that he could try and enjoy some more of the beautiful day!
By the time he returned home, he was in quite a bit of pain. I did my best to help bandage him up, but he was a mess! His wrist was swollen and sore, his shoulder hurt, and his knee was oozing nastiness. It took 3 days to even begin to scab over!
Ok, so what's so bad about all this, you ask? Well, the following morning was pretty awesome. Our social worker came for our final interview and did our home walk-through. As I mentioned already in an earlier post, we passed and were given the "go-ahead" with our adoption. Talk about crossing a huge milestone! That was super exciting, no doubt.
However, that evening, I noticed what seemed to be damp grout near the bottom of the toilet in our downstairs bathroom. I lifted the toilet lid and saw the water was almost completely drained out of the bowl. So, I think "Hmmmm... how odd. Maybe it's partially clogged and I should flush it to get it back to normal." One flush does nothing. It looks the same. So, I flush again, and again, and one last time. Now, the water's up to the rim of the bowl and not going down. Yikes. So, I run to the garage and grab the plunger. Joe's in the shower and unable to help... so I can handle this, right?! I begin plunging away, thinking I'm all that and I'm going to fix whatever's wrong with the toilet.
Then, I hear it. I little gushing noise, almost too quiet to hearing. I plunge again... psher, psher, psher (plunging noise ;-)). That's when it happens. Water begins to pour out from the bolt holes where the toilet is bolted to the floor, and then it starts flooding out from all around the base of the toilet. The floor of the bathroom around the toilet is quickly becoming a small pond. I rushed to the cabinet and grabbed a handful of those puppy pee pads we use when leaving the dogs in the garage during showings. They're pretty absorbent, and have a plastic backing, so I figured it was a good choice.
I run down the hall and grab a trash bag to throw gobs of the, now drench, pads into. Water's still coming out. Now what? I keep sopping it up with new pads, paper towels, whatever I can get my hands on. Ugh, how nasty. TOILET water is all over the floor in there. I'm a major sanitation freak about some things, so I'm getting the willies just thinking about the nastiness factor here. WHY did this have to happen?!
So, I get the mess cleaned up, sanitize the floors, toilet, anything that had been touched by the water including my hands, feet, ankles, etc. Then, I run upstairs to ask Joe to come down.
**Remember - Joe is sore and has a worthless wrist on one arm and a worthless shoulder on the other from the accident**
His response is that we should leave it alone and call a plumber in the morning. A PLUMBER?! Are you kidding me? I mean, we're total do-it-yourselfers. We've remodeled our whole house with almost no assistance from anyone. We set those toilets a year ago, we can fix it, right?! Besides, we're pouring all of our cash into checks for adoption expenses, how could we possibly afford a plumber?! I said "No way, I'll do it myself tomorrow." Figuring I'd get some new wax rings cause it must've been a case of the rings oozing into the hole and blocking it up or something. No big deal. that toilet barely gets used, how could it be any worse than that?!
Fast forward to the next afternoon. I send Joe to grab two new wax rings from Lowes on his way home from work. It's our 2-yr anniversary, but we're going to fix the toilet. I know you're all jealous! "What a romantic couple!" you're thinking. Well, yes. That's us. But, I had a change of heart while Joe was grabbing the supplies, and decided we should at least go walk along the beach and grab some cheap food while we're out. The toilet would still be there, broken, when we got back. Sadly.
We enjoyed a wonderful, relaxing dinner, watching the waves roll in and out, kids playing in the sand and dreaming. The weather was perfect, the food was great, and we were together. Ahhh, what a wonderful break from the nasty mess at home.
Alas, when we returned, I was determined to get that toilet fixed. I mean, seriously! What if someone came by for a showing??? We couldn't just leave it like that ANOTHER day! So, I changed into my "down and dirty" clothes and headed to the nasty zone. I got the tank off the bowl, got the bowl up off the floor with Joe's help and onto plastic laid out for it. Then, we saw it. Water was sitting in the drain hole up to about 2-3 inches below the top of the pipe. Not good. That hole shouldn't have water standing in it. Come on, can't we get a break?! Last month it was a slab leak, this month... a clogged toilet drain?! Guess we'd better call a plumber after all, eh?
Fast forward again. Now, it's the following day, around 1:00 PM. Joe's arranged for a plumber to come out and check out the problem and clear out the clog. He should be arriving sometime after 3:00 PM, but whenever he comes, he'll call at least a 1/2 hour in advance to let me know. So, I run to the garage to grab a frozen burrito out of the freezer out there. I left the light off in the garage, who needs it. I notice the garage smells damp/dusty. Odd. I see there's a pool of water by the garage door, near the hose bib. There's frequently a little water there after someone's used that hose, so I don't think much of it... but it is a rather large amount of water for that. Hmmm.
Drip, drip, drip. Uh oh. What's that? Out of the corner of my eye I see dripping from the undercarriage of my car between the front two wheels. My mind is racing with ideas as to my my car would be dripping so much fluid. I sniff again. It doesn't smell like gas, oil, or whatever. Then, I begin to lift my eyes up and see that whatever it is, it's running down the sides of the car, just behind the front wheel. It's all over the hood and windshield. It looks as though my car's been through a hurricane. Well, the front 1/2 of the car does anyway. There's water all over the front of the car from the driver's and passenger doors and forward. Now, I look even further up and see it.
The garage is raining. It's as though a giant cloud had formed in the garage and was raining down all around. Except, this cloud was actually the ceiling! The ceiling was raining! It was dripping like crazy all over the place. From one side of the garage to the other and from front to back! Big, HUGE wet patches on the ceiling. LEAK!
Above our garage is our neighbor's condo. It wasn't coming from our house. I couldn't shut off our water to stop it. This wasn't some small, slow leak either. This appeared to be Lake Superior up there! I ran for my cell phone and told Joe he had to get home... NOW! Then, I ran out the front door, planning to beat down my neighbors door in order to get the water shut off. Luckily, as I ran out, it was just in time to see the plumber show up. He shut off their water and ran up to assess the problem. Our neighbor's daughter was home and I asked her what was going on. I told her our garage was being flooded and needed some answers. She seemed bewildered (she's 18 or 19 yrs old... not some child). She was only able to tell me that her mom was on her way home... should be home any minute, and she'd have her come over and talk to me when she got there. Great.
In the mean time, I ran back into the garage and began saving whatever I could from the water. We'd bought a glider chair for our nursery at the neighborhood garage sale the previous weekend. It was soaked. A bag of new dog food... drenched. Just about everything was wet to some degree. Since the ceiling was still dripping quite a bit, I tried to move things out from under "active drip" areas so they wouldn't get any more damage. This wasn't just clean water, either. It was sloppy, goopy yuck with drywall powder and chunks in it. My car had been just washed... now it was covered in a white, mess.
While I was cleaning and rearranging the garage, the neighbor stopped by to discuss repairs, Joe arrived, and so did the plumber that was coming to look at our toilet problem. In order to keep the story from drawing out much further, I'll summarize. With the help of the drain snake, the drain was cleared, but the plumber felt we should run a camera down the pipe to see if we could learn why the drain had clogged. So, we arranged to have him to come back with a camera to look in there and see what's wrong the next day (this morning). He thinks he found that we may have a minor offset in the pipe that has probably been there for quite some time. If this is the case, it could occasionally case things to get caught up and in time, cause a clog. If we felt that it was necessary, the next step would be to locate and verify the problem (another $150), and once found (and verified) they would have to then dig down into the ground, through the floor and whatever else is in the way, to replace the pipe sections. Fun stuff.
So, for now, we had them reset the toilet while we talk to the association since it may be covered by them. It's in the slab, and therefore may not be our responsibility. Either way, we're holding off on taking the next step to have anything fixed. Since this is the first issue in the 2 years we've lived here, we're not too concerned. As it is, the slab leak last month sucked up our emergency funds and with adoption expenses, our accounts are dried up to next to nothing.
As for the garage water mess, we still haven't seen our neighbors insurance guy. She said she'd call us "when he's on his way" so I have no idea when that'll be. That's where I get frustrated cause my working from home gets abused a bit in these situations. I actually need to WORK when I'm at home and can't just take off, get off a meeting call, or whatever when it's convenient for her and the insurance guy. Whatever, I'll be flexible, yet again. I just hope my boss doesn't mind! More to come on this... hopefully they get this fixed quickly because the garage smells damp, and almost mildew-y. I'm hoping we don't end up with a mold issue to boot. Plus, with Joe and I leaving the country in 6 days, I don't want to have this going on while we're out of town. No way. Plus, these are our final days with the house on the market before we leave town. We're taking it off while we're gone so we don't have to worry about the dogs with showings, the possibility of dealing with an offer while we're in South Africa, etc. We'll probably re-list when we get back.
Whilst all of this is going on, we're waiting for our notarized homestudy. I missed a call from our social worker last night when Joe and I were distracting ourselves with some fun at Geoff and Val's. Can you believe I missed her call? I can't. She was calling to let me know that our homestudy was done, the supervisor had approved it, but the email address she'd written down for our placement agency wasn't working so she couldn't get their approval. So, at this moment, I've given her the correct email address and we're waiting for their social worker to look it over and get back to us. Hopefully soon. We've GOT to get the notarized copy in hands in time to get our I-600A submitted and be fingerprinted before we leave town. That would be one huge bit of progress that would help us with some good news in the midst of the chaos at our house!
Seriously though, going to Geoff and Val's last night was just what I needed to get my mind off plumbing issues and have some fun with friends and their precious little guys. I need to get pictures of them so I can put them up for you to all see. They are absolutely gorgeous boys. I have so much fun with them, and feel so incredibly fortunate to have met the Smith family. Wesley and Harrison are helping get Joe and I ready (to some extent) for babies and twins, and they're parents are so great to be around. We even got to test drive the stroller around the neighborhood for a nice long walk, so I got a little workout in too!
Pictures and updates to follow... in the meantime, I'd better get to work!
Let me set the stage... it was a beautiful, sunny afternoon when Joe left for a ride on his bike. He loves mountain biking and was so thrilled to get out and enjoy an afternoon in the outdoors....
Psh, enough of that style. Here it is. Joe went out for a ride, and long story short, he did a major endo (for you non-mountain bikers - that means he flipped his bike, back end over the front, and not intentionally!). Upon crash landing he realized before all of the shock and pain set in that his shoulder wasn't right. He's got a problem with that darn shoulder partially dislocating in these bike accidents he occasionally has. So, before the shock factor wore off, he did a full rotation of the shoulder to get it to move back into the joint. OUCH! Then, he realized his right wrist was hurting...badly. And, his left forearm was skinned up and filled with cactus needles. AND, his right knee was missing a few chunks of skin. Oh yummy. But, what did Joey do? He got back on his bike and struggled along the trail for another hour before heading home so that he could try and enjoy some more of the beautiful day!
By the time he returned home, he was in quite a bit of pain. I did my best to help bandage him up, but he was a mess! His wrist was swollen and sore, his shoulder hurt, and his knee was oozing nastiness. It took 3 days to even begin to scab over!
Ok, so what's so bad about all this, you ask? Well, the following morning was pretty awesome. Our social worker came for our final interview and did our home walk-through. As I mentioned already in an earlier post, we passed and were given the "go-ahead" with our adoption. Talk about crossing a huge milestone! That was super exciting, no doubt.
However, that evening, I noticed what seemed to be damp grout near the bottom of the toilet in our downstairs bathroom. I lifted the toilet lid and saw the water was almost completely drained out of the bowl. So, I think "Hmmmm... how odd. Maybe it's partially clogged and I should flush it to get it back to normal." One flush does nothing. It looks the same. So, I flush again, and again, and one last time. Now, the water's up to the rim of the bowl and not going down. Yikes. So, I run to the garage and grab the plunger. Joe's in the shower and unable to help... so I can handle this, right?! I begin plunging away, thinking I'm all that and I'm going to fix whatever's wrong with the toilet.
Then, I hear it. I little gushing noise, almost too quiet to hearing. I plunge again... psher, psher, psher (plunging noise ;-)). That's when it happens. Water begins to pour out from the bolt holes where the toilet is bolted to the floor, and then it starts flooding out from all around the base of the toilet. The floor of the bathroom around the toilet is quickly becoming a small pond. I rushed to the cabinet and grabbed a handful of those puppy pee pads we use when leaving the dogs in the garage during showings. They're pretty absorbent, and have a plastic backing, so I figured it was a good choice.
I run down the hall and grab a trash bag to throw gobs of the, now drench, pads into. Water's still coming out. Now what? I keep sopping it up with new pads, paper towels, whatever I can get my hands on. Ugh, how nasty. TOILET water is all over the floor in there. I'm a major sanitation freak about some things, so I'm getting the willies just thinking about the nastiness factor here. WHY did this have to happen?!
So, I get the mess cleaned up, sanitize the floors, toilet, anything that had been touched by the water including my hands, feet, ankles, etc. Then, I run upstairs to ask Joe to come down.
**Remember - Joe is sore and has a worthless wrist on one arm and a worthless shoulder on the other from the accident**
His response is that we should leave it alone and call a plumber in the morning. A PLUMBER?! Are you kidding me? I mean, we're total do-it-yourselfers. We've remodeled our whole house with almost no assistance from anyone. We set those toilets a year ago, we can fix it, right?! Besides, we're pouring all of our cash into checks for adoption expenses, how could we possibly afford a plumber?! I said "No way, I'll do it myself tomorrow." Figuring I'd get some new wax rings cause it must've been a case of the rings oozing into the hole and blocking it up or something. No big deal. that toilet barely gets used, how could it be any worse than that?!
Fast forward to the next afternoon. I send Joe to grab two new wax rings from Lowes on his way home from work. It's our 2-yr anniversary, but we're going to fix the toilet. I know you're all jealous! "What a romantic couple!" you're thinking. Well, yes. That's us. But, I had a change of heart while Joe was grabbing the supplies, and decided we should at least go walk along the beach and grab some cheap food while we're out. The toilet would still be there, broken, when we got back. Sadly.
We enjoyed a wonderful, relaxing dinner, watching the waves roll in and out, kids playing in the sand and dreaming. The weather was perfect, the food was great, and we were together. Ahhh, what a wonderful break from the nasty mess at home.
Alas, when we returned, I was determined to get that toilet fixed. I mean, seriously! What if someone came by for a showing??? We couldn't just leave it like that ANOTHER day! So, I changed into my "down and dirty" clothes and headed to the nasty zone. I got the tank off the bowl, got the bowl up off the floor with Joe's help and onto plastic laid out for it. Then, we saw it. Water was sitting in the drain hole up to about 2-3 inches below the top of the pipe. Not good. That hole shouldn't have water standing in it. Come on, can't we get a break?! Last month it was a slab leak, this month... a clogged toilet drain?! Guess we'd better call a plumber after all, eh?
Fast forward again. Now, it's the following day, around 1:00 PM. Joe's arranged for a plumber to come out and check out the problem and clear out the clog. He should be arriving sometime after 3:00 PM, but whenever he comes, he'll call at least a 1/2 hour in advance to let me know. So, I run to the garage to grab a frozen burrito out of the freezer out there. I left the light off in the garage, who needs it. I notice the garage smells damp/dusty. Odd. I see there's a pool of water by the garage door, near the hose bib. There's frequently a little water there after someone's used that hose, so I don't think much of it... but it is a rather large amount of water for that. Hmmm.
Drip, drip, drip. Uh oh. What's that? Out of the corner of my eye I see dripping from the undercarriage of my car between the front two wheels. My mind is racing with ideas as to my my car would be dripping so much fluid. I sniff again. It doesn't smell like gas, oil, or whatever. Then, I begin to lift my eyes up and see that whatever it is, it's running down the sides of the car, just behind the front wheel. It's all over the hood and windshield. It looks as though my car's been through a hurricane. Well, the front 1/2 of the car does anyway. There's water all over the front of the car from the driver's and passenger doors and forward. Now, I look even further up and see it.
The garage is raining. It's as though a giant cloud had formed in the garage and was raining down all around. Except, this cloud was actually the ceiling! The ceiling was raining! It was dripping like crazy all over the place. From one side of the garage to the other and from front to back! Big, HUGE wet patches on the ceiling. LEAK!
Above our garage is our neighbor's condo. It wasn't coming from our house. I couldn't shut off our water to stop it. This wasn't some small, slow leak either. This appeared to be Lake Superior up there! I ran for my cell phone and told Joe he had to get home... NOW! Then, I ran out the front door, planning to beat down my neighbors door in order to get the water shut off. Luckily, as I ran out, it was just in time to see the plumber show up. He shut off their water and ran up to assess the problem. Our neighbor's daughter was home and I asked her what was going on. I told her our garage was being flooded and needed some answers. She seemed bewildered (she's 18 or 19 yrs old... not some child). She was only able to tell me that her mom was on her way home... should be home any minute, and she'd have her come over and talk to me when she got there. Great.
In the mean time, I ran back into the garage and began saving whatever I could from the water. We'd bought a glider chair for our nursery at the neighborhood garage sale the previous weekend. It was soaked. A bag of new dog food... drenched. Just about everything was wet to some degree. Since the ceiling was still dripping quite a bit, I tried to move things out from under "active drip" areas so they wouldn't get any more damage. This wasn't just clean water, either. It was sloppy, goopy yuck with drywall powder and chunks in it. My car had been just washed... now it was covered in a white, mess.
While I was cleaning and rearranging the garage, the neighbor stopped by to discuss repairs, Joe arrived, and so did the plumber that was coming to look at our toilet problem. In order to keep the story from drawing out much further, I'll summarize. With the help of the drain snake, the drain was cleared, but the plumber felt we should run a camera down the pipe to see if we could learn why the drain had clogged. So, we arranged to have him to come back with a camera to look in there and see what's wrong the next day (this morning). He thinks he found that we may have a minor offset in the pipe that has probably been there for quite some time. If this is the case, it could occasionally case things to get caught up and in time, cause a clog. If we felt that it was necessary, the next step would be to locate and verify the problem (another $150), and once found (and verified) they would have to then dig down into the ground, through the floor and whatever else is in the way, to replace the pipe sections. Fun stuff.
So, for now, we had them reset the toilet while we talk to the association since it may be covered by them. It's in the slab, and therefore may not be our responsibility. Either way, we're holding off on taking the next step to have anything fixed. Since this is the first issue in the 2 years we've lived here, we're not too concerned. As it is, the slab leak last month sucked up our emergency funds and with adoption expenses, our accounts are dried up to next to nothing.
As for the garage water mess, we still haven't seen our neighbors insurance guy. She said she'd call us "when he's on his way" so I have no idea when that'll be. That's where I get frustrated cause my working from home gets abused a bit in these situations. I actually need to WORK when I'm at home and can't just take off, get off a meeting call, or whatever when it's convenient for her and the insurance guy. Whatever, I'll be flexible, yet again. I just hope my boss doesn't mind! More to come on this... hopefully they get this fixed quickly because the garage smells damp, and almost mildew-y. I'm hoping we don't end up with a mold issue to boot. Plus, with Joe and I leaving the country in 6 days, I don't want to have this going on while we're out of town. No way. Plus, these are our final days with the house on the market before we leave town. We're taking it off while we're gone so we don't have to worry about the dogs with showings, the possibility of dealing with an offer while we're in South Africa, etc. We'll probably re-list when we get back.
Whilst all of this is going on, we're waiting for our notarized homestudy. I missed a call from our social worker last night when Joe and I were distracting ourselves with some fun at Geoff and Val's. Can you believe I missed her call? I can't. She was calling to let me know that our homestudy was done, the supervisor had approved it, but the email address she'd written down for our placement agency wasn't working so she couldn't get their approval. So, at this moment, I've given her the correct email address and we're waiting for their social worker to look it over and get back to us. Hopefully soon. We've GOT to get the notarized copy in hands in time to get our I-600A submitted and be fingerprinted before we leave town. That would be one huge bit of progress that would help us with some good news in the midst of the chaos at our house!
Seriously though, going to Geoff and Val's last night was just what I needed to get my mind off plumbing issues and have some fun with friends and their precious little guys. I need to get pictures of them so I can put them up for you to all see. They are absolutely gorgeous boys. I have so much fun with them, and feel so incredibly fortunate to have met the Smith family. Wesley and Harrison are helping get Joe and I ready (to some extent) for babies and twins, and they're parents are so great to be around. We even got to test drive the stroller around the neighborhood for a nice long walk, so I got a little workout in too!
Pictures and updates to follow... in the meantime, I'd better get to work!
Monday, June 18, 2007
Homestudy visits completed!!!
Wow, what a way to spend Father's Day! Our final visit with our social worker happened yesterday, on Father's Day. And what's more, we were approved and deemed "qualified" in every respect according to the social worker. Yippee! Talk about a relief! And, how ironic considering we finally began our adoption journey on Mother's Day, and here we are getting our homestudy completed/approved on Father's Day! Now, let's just hope she gets it written up quickly and the sign-offs and approvals that need to happen go very quickly as well! I'm still hoping to get the notarized homestudy in time to deliver our I-600A to the LA USCIS office before we leave town next week! If we can get that and our fingerprints done before leaving, we'll be doing really well in terms of our status in the adoption process. We'll just be waiting for our I-171H (visa approval letter) so we can submit our dossier!
Now, for a little more insight into our visit with Cara yesterday. I know I can talk a lot. That's just something I'm known for. Especially when I'm nervous/excited/anxious. Well, trust me when I say that I was completely blown away by the fact that Joe was so busy talking and answering questions that I could barely get a word in edge-wise yesterday! No joke! He was so talkative that he couldn't keep his mouth shut long enough for me to finish sentences or ask questions! He'd just jump right in and finish answering for me, or trying to complete the question I was asking. It was so bizarre! I thought my husband had been abducted by aliens and they'd returned someone completely different! No more long pauses while waiting for Joe to speak up or answer something... he was all over it! Is it too presumptuous to say that maybe... just maybe, his excitement was kicking in a bit?! And he was all smiles when she left. I was still in shock that A) the "homestudy" was over and B) Joe was answering ALL of her questions instead of me! Trust me when I tell you this is a shocking turn of events! It was awesome to see the excitement he's feeling but been so good at controlling all this time in order to keep me relatively calm in the process.
A world away our children may already be out there. It's sometimes difficult when I sit and wonder about them. Are they still in their birth mom's tummy? Have they been born yet? Are they already in an orphanage waiting for us, or on the verge of that tragic situation that puts them in a situation of needing a mommy and daddy. It's painful to think that with all the excitement and anticipation we feel, we're excited about something that inevitably means a painful, terrible loss of some sort for our little ones.
Knowing that the soonest we could travel is October (that's if we get a referral during court closures and get through court when it first reopens in early October) that we're only 4 months away... 4 months. Of course, that's the SOONEST it could happen. It's very likely it will be later than that. If we get our I-600A submitted before leaving town AND get fingerprinted, we could be receiving our I-171H by late July. So, the big question is how long will it take us to get our referral? It could take a while, so I'm trying not to get my hopes up about the wait being too short. I'm just hoping we'll get to travel before the end of the year!
Enough of my ramblings for now. I have to go host a meeting and get back to work... it's so hard to concentrate on anything other than the adoption some days!
Now, for a little more insight into our visit with Cara yesterday. I know I can talk a lot. That's just something I'm known for. Especially when I'm nervous/excited/anxious. Well, trust me when I say that I was completely blown away by the fact that Joe was so busy talking and answering questions that I could barely get a word in edge-wise yesterday! No joke! He was so talkative that he couldn't keep his mouth shut long enough for me to finish sentences or ask questions! He'd just jump right in and finish answering for me, or trying to complete the question I was asking. It was so bizarre! I thought my husband had been abducted by aliens and they'd returned someone completely different! No more long pauses while waiting for Joe to speak up or answer something... he was all over it! Is it too presumptuous to say that maybe... just maybe, his excitement was kicking in a bit?! And he was all smiles when she left. I was still in shock that A) the "homestudy" was over and B) Joe was answering ALL of her questions instead of me! Trust me when I tell you this is a shocking turn of events! It was awesome to see the excitement he's feeling but been so good at controlling all this time in order to keep me relatively calm in the process.
A world away our children may already be out there. It's sometimes difficult when I sit and wonder about them. Are they still in their birth mom's tummy? Have they been born yet? Are they already in an orphanage waiting for us, or on the verge of that tragic situation that puts them in a situation of needing a mommy and daddy. It's painful to think that with all the excitement and anticipation we feel, we're excited about something that inevitably means a painful, terrible loss of some sort for our little ones.
Knowing that the soonest we could travel is October (that's if we get a referral during court closures and get through court when it first reopens in early October) that we're only 4 months away... 4 months. Of course, that's the SOONEST it could happen. It's very likely it will be later than that. If we get our I-600A submitted before leaving town AND get fingerprinted, we could be receiving our I-171H by late July. So, the big question is how long will it take us to get our referral? It could take a while, so I'm trying not to get my hopes up about the wait being too short. I'm just hoping we'll get to travel before the end of the year!
Enough of my ramblings for now. I have to go host a meeting and get back to work... it's so hard to concentrate on anything other than the adoption some days!
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Time for a little South African Safari!
Ok, so here's the big update on our upcoming trip. Joe and I are finally using the trip given to use as a gift as the fundraiser we attended last October! About a week ago, we decided on a time to go, I got tickets, and we leave on June 26th for South Africa! What an exciting time it'll be! I can't believe it's less than 20 days away at this point! We'll only be going on the safari, and not doing extra side stuff like flying down to Cape Town, and then driving up to Gaansbai for diving with the Great White sharks, but that's ok. Another time, another trip. I am so thrilled we're going to be able to get away at all for that one big trip before kids!! Our main reason for waiting a couple of years after getting married before having kids was to get some good traveling in. Well... due to busy schedules and all our money going into remodeling our house, we haven't done that yet! So, South Africa, here we come!
We'll be flying through London, with an 8 hour layover, so we should even have a chance to leave the airport and see an old family friend that was like an uncle to me when I was young! I haven't seen him since I was probably 10 years old, so it's very exciting! He's now married and has kids of his own that we'll get to meet! Plus, it'll be a great break from the airport and airplanes during our long trip.
Once we arrive in Johannesburg, we'll have about an hour and a half to get our bags, get through customs, and check in, go back through security, and board our flight to Richard's Bay. I'm worried that connection is way too tight, but if we took the next later flight, we'd have to wait 5.5 hours for it. And, that's our first day at our safari destination, so I wanted us to get to the lodge before dark! Once we arrive in Richard's Bay, someone will pick us up and drive us about 2 hours to the Heritage Safari Lodge. It looks really gorgeous from the pictures! We'll be on safari in the area where the Kim Bassinger movie, "I Dream of Africa" was filmed! Yes, it's that cool! But, thinking of that movie makes me think of the poisonous snakes her son had caught in the area and the mamba that bit him and killed him. Yikes! What a sad movie!
Enough said, Joe and I are headed off on a fantastic adventure. One more thing to stretch our already suffocatingly tight budget, but it's the perfect thing for the two of us to celebrate 2 years of marriage (on June 18th!) and be alone together before becoming first time parents!!!
We'll be flying through London, with an 8 hour layover, so we should even have a chance to leave the airport and see an old family friend that was like an uncle to me when I was young! I haven't seen him since I was probably 10 years old, so it's very exciting! He's now married and has kids of his own that we'll get to meet! Plus, it'll be a great break from the airport and airplanes during our long trip.
Once we arrive in Johannesburg, we'll have about an hour and a half to get our bags, get through customs, and check in, go back through security, and board our flight to Richard's Bay. I'm worried that connection is way too tight, but if we took the next later flight, we'd have to wait 5.5 hours for it. And, that's our first day at our safari destination, so I wanted us to get to the lodge before dark! Once we arrive in Richard's Bay, someone will pick us up and drive us about 2 hours to the Heritage Safari Lodge. It looks really gorgeous from the pictures! We'll be on safari in the area where the Kim Bassinger movie, "I Dream of Africa" was filmed! Yes, it's that cool! But, thinking of that movie makes me think of the poisonous snakes her son had caught in the area and the mamba that bit him and killed him. Yikes! What a sad movie!
Enough said, Joe and I are headed off on a fantastic adventure. One more thing to stretch our already suffocatingly tight budget, but it's the perfect thing for the two of us to celebrate 2 years of marriage (on June 18th!) and be alone together before becoming first time parents!!!
Sunday, June 03, 2007
NYT Article
A good article published in the New York Times on Ethiopian Adoptions, copied in its entirety:
"In Ethiopia, Open Doors for Foreign Adoptions
By JANE GROSS and WILL CONNORS
Published: June 4, 2007
ST. PAUL — Ethiopia was not on Mark and Vera Westrum-Ostrom’s list when they first visited Children’s Home Society & Family Services here to explore an international adoption.
From Ethiopia to Minnesota Ukraine was first, because of their family heritage, until the couple discovered that the adoption system there was chaotic, with inaccurate information about orphans’ health and availability.
Vietnam was second, after they saw videos of well-run orphanages. But the wait would be at least a year and a half.
Then they learned about Ethiopia’s model centers for orphans, run by American agencies, with an efficient adoption system that made it possible for them to file paperwork on Labor Day and claim 2-year-old Tariku, a boy with almond eyes and a halo of ringlets, at Christmas.
From Addis Ababa, the capital city, they traveled to the countryside to meet the boy’s birth mother, an opportunity rare in international adoption. And at roughly $20,000, the process was affordable compared with other foreign adoptions, and free of the bribes that are common in some countries.
It is no wonder, given these advantages, that Ethiopia, a country more often associated by Americans with drought, famine and conflict, has become a hot spot for international adoption. Even before the actress Angelina Jolie put adoption in Ethiopia on the cover of People magazine in 2005, the number of adoptions there by Americans was growing. The total is still small — 732 children in 2006, out of a total of 20,632 foreign adoptions, but it is a steep increase, up from 82 children adopted in 1997.
Ethiopia now ranks 5th among countries for adoption by Americans, up from 16th in 2000. In the same period, the number of American agencies licensed to operate there has grown from one to 22.
The increasing interest in Ethiopia comes at a time when the leading countries for international adoption, China, Guatemala and Russia are, respectively, tightening eligibility requirements, under scrutiny for adoption corruption and closing borders to American agencies.
Ethiopia’s sudden popularity also comes with risks, say government officials there and in America.
“I don’t think we’ll be able to handle it,” said Haddush Halefom, an official at the Ministry of Women’s Affairs, which oversees adoption. “We don’t have the capacity to handle all these new agencies, and we have to monitor the quality, not just the quantity.”
Capping the number of agencies is one solution. And that is what some international adoption officials in the United States are now urging the Ethiopian government to do.
Of concern is the ability of agencies to handle the rising demand, which may have contributed to a recent mix-up involving two families sent home with the wrong children by Christian World Adoption, an established agency, although relatively new to Ethiopia. That case prompted inquiries by the State Department and the nonprofit Joint Council on International Children’s Services in Virginia, a child welfare and advocacy organization, and the adoption agency itself, said Thomas DiFilipo, president of the joint council.
Officials at Christian World Adoption did not reply to e-mail messages or telephone calls. But Mr. DiFilipo said the agency was reviewing its procedures and has hired immigration lawyers to resolve the mix-up.
The consensus, Mr. DiFilipo said, is that the mix-up was “an honest mistake.” But, he added, “This could be the byproduct of a staff handling 35 placements when they’re used to handling 20.”
Children’s Home Society & Family Services, founded in 1889, began working in Ethiopia in 2004. The agency completed about 300 adoptions in its first three years in Ethiopia, and expects to complete that many in 2007 alone. Along with Wide Horizons For Children in Waltham, Mass., the society is credited with helping Ethiopia create a model for international adoption.
Ethiopia, with a population of 76 million, has an estimated 5 million children who have lost one or both parents, according to aid organizations. Many African nations have outlawed or impeded the adoption of their children by foreigners. Ethiopia has welcomed American and European families who are willing to provide homes for children who have lost both parents to AIDS, malaria, tuberculosis or starvation, or who come from families too destitute to feed and clothe them. (The adoption process includes routine screening for HIV infection.)
Two elements distinguish Ethiopia’s adoption system, according to dozens of experts. One is the existence of transitional homes for orphans, in the countryside and in the capital, with services and staffing that are rare in the developing world — paid for by American agencies.
Not long ago, Sandra Iverson, a nurse practitioner from the University of Minnesota’s international adoption health clinic, the first of its kind in the United States, was invited to visit the Children’s Home Society’s Ethiopian centers.
She arrived with a neonatal otoscope, to diagnose ear infections; the Red Book, the bible of pediatrics; and scarce antibiotics. She left confident that Ethiopia’s orphans enjoyed unusual care.
“You don’t hear crying babies,” Ms. Iverson said. “They are picked up immediately.”
The other signature of the Ethiopian system is that adopting families are encouraged to meet birth families and visit the villages where the children were raised, a cutting-edge practice in adoptions. Some agencies provide DVDs or photographs that document the children’s past.
Russ and Ann Couwenhoven, in Ham Lake, Minn., recently showed one such video to 6-year-old Tariku, one of three children they have adopted from Ethiopia. The boy seemed proud of the beautifully painted house he had lived in, they said, and the uncle who had sheltered him for as long as he could.
Linda Zwicky brought 2-year-old Amale home five days before the Memorial Day weekend, with a letter from the child’s grandmother that described holding the motherless infant at her breast even though she had no milk. Sometimes such vividness is too much. Melanie Danke and her husband, of Minneapolis, adopted 6-year-old twins and a 3-year-old, all siblings. One of the twins “would work herself up until she was inconsolable” looking at photos of the aunt and grandmother who raised her, Ms. Danke said. So she has tucked the photos away for now.
David Pilgrim, vice president of adoption services at the Children’s Home Society, said the agency spends $2 million a year on its Ethiopian facilities.
At the main transitional home, on the outskirts of Addis Ababa, a staff of 170 care for about 120 children, ensuring that the children have consistent contact with adults, which experts say mitigates the most damaging psychological effects of institutionalization.
During a reporter’s recent visit, the two terra-cotta buildings where the children live, usually for no more than a few months, were spotless, with staff members scurrying to pick up toys and food spills as they hit the floor.
The transitional home has a primary school, open also to local students, where the children begin learning English. There is a medical clinic with two full-time doctors and 10 nurses. Down the road is a guest house for adoptive parents, who also can stay in a sleek hotel.
The children also enjoy the services of a “laugh therapist,” Belachu Girma.
“These kids come here and are very depressed at first, all with their heads down and not talking,” Mr. Girma said. “I come in and try to help them relax.”
There was laughter also at the nearby guest house, more of the nervous kind, as American parents waited to take their children back to St. Paul from the Horn of Africa.
Araminta and Jason Montague, from Atlanta, who picked up 17-month-old Natan last week, compared their experience in Ethiopia to an earlier adoption of a girl from China (where Americans adopted 6,493 children in 2006).
“Our daughter was in an orphanage with about 300 children and she was very dehydrated,” Ms. Montague said. “We were never told her origins. Her sheet just said ‘Status: Abandoned.’ ”
Some parents anguished, as did Karla Suomala of Decorah, Iowa, when she arrived in Addis Ababa to adopt 5-year-old Dawit and his 21-month-old sister Meheret.
“It’s hard to know what the right thing is to do,” Ms. Suomala said. “Should we just give all the money we’re spending on this to the children’s mother?” Ms. Suomala and her husband, David Vasquez, had already spent time with her.
“It was obvious the birth mother loved her children,” Mr. Vasquez said. “She said to us, ‘Thank you for sharing my burden.’ ”
Alessandro Conticini, the head of child protection at Unicef Ethiopia, is one of many who believe that international adoption is a good thing but must be “part of a larger strategy” that focuses on keeping children in their families or communities, with the help of humanitarian organizations.
Indeed, the Ethiopian government has taken the unusual step of requiring foreign agencies to provide social services and document the results. As a result, agencies like Children’s Home Society and Wide Horizons have built schools and medical facilities — including one for HIV-infected children.
But Mr. Conticini, of Unicef, worries about the mushrooming number of private adoption companies that “are not properly regulated by the government” because two different ministries are involved and working at cross purposes.
At the State Department, visa applications for children adopted from Ethiopia are getting extra attention, said Catherine M. Barry, deputy assistant secretary for overseas citizens services. “We will very quickly see if patterns are emerging,” she said, “and we will intervene in a timely fashion with anyone doing less than quality work.”
While the governments collaborate to protect a delicate adoption system from the perils of growth, adoptive families arrive each week in Addis Ababa to ease their children into new lives.
Last week, these included Mr. Vasquez and Ms. Suomala. While she had no trouble escorting Meheret from the orphanage, Dawit refused to budge, so Mr. Vasquez carried him toward the gate.
There, the child grabbed the bars and would not let go. Mr. Vasquez considered prying his hands loose and thought better of it. Instead he told Dawit that it was O.K. to cry.
Jane Gross reported from St. Paul, and Will Connors from Addis Ababa. "
"In Ethiopia, Open Doors for Foreign Adoptions
By JANE GROSS and WILL CONNORS
Published: June 4, 2007
ST. PAUL — Ethiopia was not on Mark and Vera Westrum-Ostrom’s list when they first visited Children’s Home Society & Family Services here to explore an international adoption.
From Ethiopia to Minnesota Ukraine was first, because of their family heritage, until the couple discovered that the adoption system there was chaotic, with inaccurate information about orphans’ health and availability.
Vietnam was second, after they saw videos of well-run orphanages. But the wait would be at least a year and a half.
Then they learned about Ethiopia’s model centers for orphans, run by American agencies, with an efficient adoption system that made it possible for them to file paperwork on Labor Day and claim 2-year-old Tariku, a boy with almond eyes and a halo of ringlets, at Christmas.
From Addis Ababa, the capital city, they traveled to the countryside to meet the boy’s birth mother, an opportunity rare in international adoption. And at roughly $20,000, the process was affordable compared with other foreign adoptions, and free of the bribes that are common in some countries.
It is no wonder, given these advantages, that Ethiopia, a country more often associated by Americans with drought, famine and conflict, has become a hot spot for international adoption. Even before the actress Angelina Jolie put adoption in Ethiopia on the cover of People magazine in 2005, the number of adoptions there by Americans was growing. The total is still small — 732 children in 2006, out of a total of 20,632 foreign adoptions, but it is a steep increase, up from 82 children adopted in 1997.
Ethiopia now ranks 5th among countries for adoption by Americans, up from 16th in 2000. In the same period, the number of American agencies licensed to operate there has grown from one to 22.
The increasing interest in Ethiopia comes at a time when the leading countries for international adoption, China, Guatemala and Russia are, respectively, tightening eligibility requirements, under scrutiny for adoption corruption and closing borders to American agencies.
Ethiopia’s sudden popularity also comes with risks, say government officials there and in America.
“I don’t think we’ll be able to handle it,” said Haddush Halefom, an official at the Ministry of Women’s Affairs, which oversees adoption. “We don’t have the capacity to handle all these new agencies, and we have to monitor the quality, not just the quantity.”
Capping the number of agencies is one solution. And that is what some international adoption officials in the United States are now urging the Ethiopian government to do.
Of concern is the ability of agencies to handle the rising demand, which may have contributed to a recent mix-up involving two families sent home with the wrong children by Christian World Adoption, an established agency, although relatively new to Ethiopia. That case prompted inquiries by the State Department and the nonprofit Joint Council on International Children’s Services in Virginia, a child welfare and advocacy organization, and the adoption agency itself, said Thomas DiFilipo, president of the joint council.
Officials at Christian World Adoption did not reply to e-mail messages or telephone calls. But Mr. DiFilipo said the agency was reviewing its procedures and has hired immigration lawyers to resolve the mix-up.
The consensus, Mr. DiFilipo said, is that the mix-up was “an honest mistake.” But, he added, “This could be the byproduct of a staff handling 35 placements when they’re used to handling 20.”
Children’s Home Society & Family Services, founded in 1889, began working in Ethiopia in 2004. The agency completed about 300 adoptions in its first three years in Ethiopia, and expects to complete that many in 2007 alone. Along with Wide Horizons For Children in Waltham, Mass., the society is credited with helping Ethiopia create a model for international adoption.
Ethiopia, with a population of 76 million, has an estimated 5 million children who have lost one or both parents, according to aid organizations. Many African nations have outlawed or impeded the adoption of their children by foreigners. Ethiopia has welcomed American and European families who are willing to provide homes for children who have lost both parents to AIDS, malaria, tuberculosis or starvation, or who come from families too destitute to feed and clothe them. (The adoption process includes routine screening for HIV infection.)
Two elements distinguish Ethiopia’s adoption system, according to dozens of experts. One is the existence of transitional homes for orphans, in the countryside and in the capital, with services and staffing that are rare in the developing world — paid for by American agencies.
Not long ago, Sandra Iverson, a nurse practitioner from the University of Minnesota’s international adoption health clinic, the first of its kind in the United States, was invited to visit the Children’s Home Society’s Ethiopian centers.
She arrived with a neonatal otoscope, to diagnose ear infections; the Red Book, the bible of pediatrics; and scarce antibiotics. She left confident that Ethiopia’s orphans enjoyed unusual care.
“You don’t hear crying babies,” Ms. Iverson said. “They are picked up immediately.”
The other signature of the Ethiopian system is that adopting families are encouraged to meet birth families and visit the villages where the children were raised, a cutting-edge practice in adoptions. Some agencies provide DVDs or photographs that document the children’s past.
Russ and Ann Couwenhoven, in Ham Lake, Minn., recently showed one such video to 6-year-old Tariku, one of three children they have adopted from Ethiopia. The boy seemed proud of the beautifully painted house he had lived in, they said, and the uncle who had sheltered him for as long as he could.
Linda Zwicky brought 2-year-old Amale home five days before the Memorial Day weekend, with a letter from the child’s grandmother that described holding the motherless infant at her breast even though she had no milk. Sometimes such vividness is too much. Melanie Danke and her husband, of Minneapolis, adopted 6-year-old twins and a 3-year-old, all siblings. One of the twins “would work herself up until she was inconsolable” looking at photos of the aunt and grandmother who raised her, Ms. Danke said. So she has tucked the photos away for now.
David Pilgrim, vice president of adoption services at the Children’s Home Society, said the agency spends $2 million a year on its Ethiopian facilities.
At the main transitional home, on the outskirts of Addis Ababa, a staff of 170 care for about 120 children, ensuring that the children have consistent contact with adults, which experts say mitigates the most damaging psychological effects of institutionalization.
During a reporter’s recent visit, the two terra-cotta buildings where the children live, usually for no more than a few months, were spotless, with staff members scurrying to pick up toys and food spills as they hit the floor.
The transitional home has a primary school, open also to local students, where the children begin learning English. There is a medical clinic with two full-time doctors and 10 nurses. Down the road is a guest house for adoptive parents, who also can stay in a sleek hotel.
The children also enjoy the services of a “laugh therapist,” Belachu Girma.
“These kids come here and are very depressed at first, all with their heads down and not talking,” Mr. Girma said. “I come in and try to help them relax.”
There was laughter also at the nearby guest house, more of the nervous kind, as American parents waited to take their children back to St. Paul from the Horn of Africa.
Araminta and Jason Montague, from Atlanta, who picked up 17-month-old Natan last week, compared their experience in Ethiopia to an earlier adoption of a girl from China (where Americans adopted 6,493 children in 2006).
“Our daughter was in an orphanage with about 300 children and she was very dehydrated,” Ms. Montague said. “We were never told her origins. Her sheet just said ‘Status: Abandoned.’ ”
Some parents anguished, as did Karla Suomala of Decorah, Iowa, when she arrived in Addis Ababa to adopt 5-year-old Dawit and his 21-month-old sister Meheret.
“It’s hard to know what the right thing is to do,” Ms. Suomala said. “Should we just give all the money we’re spending on this to the children’s mother?” Ms. Suomala and her husband, David Vasquez, had already spent time with her.
“It was obvious the birth mother loved her children,” Mr. Vasquez said. “She said to us, ‘Thank you for sharing my burden.’ ”
Alessandro Conticini, the head of child protection at Unicef Ethiopia, is one of many who believe that international adoption is a good thing but must be “part of a larger strategy” that focuses on keeping children in their families or communities, with the help of humanitarian organizations.
Indeed, the Ethiopian government has taken the unusual step of requiring foreign agencies to provide social services and document the results. As a result, agencies like Children’s Home Society and Wide Horizons have built schools and medical facilities — including one for HIV-infected children.
But Mr. Conticini, of Unicef, worries about the mushrooming number of private adoption companies that “are not properly regulated by the government” because two different ministries are involved and working at cross purposes.
At the State Department, visa applications for children adopted from Ethiopia are getting extra attention, said Catherine M. Barry, deputy assistant secretary for overseas citizens services. “We will very quickly see if patterns are emerging,” she said, “and we will intervene in a timely fashion with anyone doing less than quality work.”
While the governments collaborate to protect a delicate adoption system from the perils of growth, adoptive families arrive each week in Addis Ababa to ease their children into new lives.
Last week, these included Mr. Vasquez and Ms. Suomala. While she had no trouble escorting Meheret from the orphanage, Dawit refused to budge, so Mr. Vasquez carried him toward the gate.
There, the child grabbed the bars and would not let go. Mr. Vasquez considered prying his hands loose and thought better of it. Instead he told Dawit that it was O.K. to cry.
Jane Gross reported from St. Paul, and Will Connors from Addis Ababa. "
Homestudy visit #1, another potluck, & twin time!
Wow, what a weekend it's been! I barely know where to start. Well... here it goes:
I got the call I've been waiting for on Wednesday! Our social worker, Cara, called Wednesday evening to set up a time to meet. I was so thrilled she called so quickly, and better yet, she was able to meet with us that Friday (June 1st!). So, we agreed to meet with her at 4:00pm on Friday. As soon as I got off the phone the real nerves set in for me! I mean, just think about it. This is the woman that will approve us (hopefully!) to adopt our children. Our adoption's fate is currently in her hands. And, to make me even MORE nervous, rather than just coming to our house once for a single "home visit," she was going to come to our house for all 3 of the interviews! Yikes, I sure hoped Chloe (and Cooper) would behave themselves more quietly and calmly than normal!
Somehow, I anxiously made my way through the week (Joe, of course, was my beacon of calm, cool, and collected). Friday afternoon came, and I found myself rushing towards home from doing a little bit of house hunting with my mom (JUST in case we get our house sold!), in order to get home in time to meet with Cara! We put the dogs in the garage, tidied up, and sat on the couch and waited. When the doorbell finally rang, I think I jumped about a foot off the couch and into the air... this was it. I hoped she liked us. Would she feel we were fit to be parents? Let alone, adoptive parents?
The meeting lasted all of 40-45 minutes and wasn't bad at all. Other than chatting more than I needed to (always do that when I'm nervous and excited!) and answering almost all of the questions for her before Joe had a chance to speak up (boy, he sure does pause a long time before answering sometimes!), I think it went really well. She seemed very nice, laid back, and overall very encouraging. I also decided to push a bit for timing details... as I've mentioned, my goal is to have this homestudy wrapped up and a completed report in my hands by the end of the month. Well, she was very supportive of that and agreed to come again two weeks to the day for our next visit. The Department of Homeland Security doesn't like to see the 1st and 2nd visits less than two weeks apart, so we'll do it at exactly two weeks! Then, after meeting with her at 4:00pm on June 15th, we'll have her back the following morning at 10:00am for the final visit! That's the visit where she'll do the actual house walk-through. She didn't go around the house at all this time... all that prepping the house for nothing. Oh well. Our next visit we have to do our individual interviews... one of us is interviewed and the other has to leave the house during the interview. Yep, nervous about that too. Surprise, surprise!
Once she completes the interviews, she says she'll write up the report the next day and submit a draft to everyone that needs to review it. Then, she'll make any changes necessary based upon those reviewing it, and get it signed and notarized. I should have it in hand and ready to drive up to the immigration office before June 26th... our departure day for our trip (I'll go into the trip later). So, all in all, it's great news so far! Woohoo! Yippee!! (Imagine hearing me whoop and holler cause it's exactly what I've been doing since our first visit! Dancing, talking a mile a minute, and shouting the good news to anyone that'll listen!)
On Saturday, (the day after our first home visit), we were scheduled to go to the Temecula area for our monthly Southern California Ethiopia Adopt family potluck. But, while we were at the gym working out that morning, we got a call from our realtor letting us know an offer was being faxed to him for our house! WOW! Talk about surprise... I was not expecting that call right then! So, we had to delay going to the potluck and meet with him to review the offer. Long story short, the offer was a total low-ball and probably won't materialize into anything exciting. We've countered twice now, and I'm not thinking it'll go anywhere. Oh well. So, we headed off to the potluck after writing up a counter offer, and began the fun! The family hosting the potluck has a great place with an awesome pool and Joe enjoyed splashing around and playing with all the kids. Will and Blaine (the hosts) have an amazing family with fantastic kids, and it was so wonderful of them to host for the group. As usual, I cooed at and played with the babies and toddlers while Joe transformed into the "big kid" and played for hours on end. There's just no leaving the potlucks without expending all of your energy!
And finally... we got to have some "twin time" today!!! It was SOOOOO great! One of Joe's friends at work has four and a half month old identical twin boys. Geoff (his friend) mentioned recently that since we were planning on requesting twins, that maybe we should come over to their house and spend some time changing diapers and seeing the "chaos" that can come with multiples. So, without hesitation, I jumped at the offer! We spent most of the day with Geoff, his fabulous wife, Valerie, and their absolutely adorable boys, Wesley and Harrison. It was amazing to see how great they're all doing at four and a half months. It sounds like sleep schedules are really tough right now (or should I say... a LACK of sleep & schedules! ;-) ) but the boys are really such happy babies and are quite mellow. They are total charmers and I personally just couldn't get enough of them. We all went to the Tustin Chili Cookoff together and I even got to practice maneuvering the big twin stroller... which is much tougher than it looks! The best part of the day is that Joe and I had such a great time with them and I think we all hit it off so well! I still don't have any really close girlfriends out here in SoCal, so finding I have so much in common with Valerie (including that I'll soon be a twin mom too... probably!), was so exciting. She's promised to take us up on our offer to come lend a hand, and that we'll start going to the gym together, and that's so awesome! Plus, she's got so many great tips on things that have helped them with managing two, and referrals for things like a pediatrician that they love, twin discounts, a local Moms with multiples club, a multiples nanny share, and all kinds of great books! Whew, I am so lucky to have met them! Thank you Geoff and Valerie!
So, in a nutshell (a BIG nutshell), that was our weekend! See, lots happened! And, tomorrow I have to get on a plane and head to Atlanta for 3 days for training. Ugh. I hate to be leaving town right now, but at least it's only 3 days. I'll post again soon with the details/update on our upcoming trip! It's just another exciting revelation in our ever crazy and exciting world!
**Yep, I'm all smiles right now! What a great weekend!
I got the call I've been waiting for on Wednesday! Our social worker, Cara, called Wednesday evening to set up a time to meet. I was so thrilled she called so quickly, and better yet, she was able to meet with us that Friday (June 1st!). So, we agreed to meet with her at 4:00pm on Friday. As soon as I got off the phone the real nerves set in for me! I mean, just think about it. This is the woman that will approve us (hopefully!) to adopt our children. Our adoption's fate is currently in her hands. And, to make me even MORE nervous, rather than just coming to our house once for a single "home visit," she was going to come to our house for all 3 of the interviews! Yikes, I sure hoped Chloe (and Cooper) would behave themselves more quietly and calmly than normal!
Somehow, I anxiously made my way through the week (Joe, of course, was my beacon of calm, cool, and collected). Friday afternoon came, and I found myself rushing towards home from doing a little bit of house hunting with my mom (JUST in case we get our house sold!), in order to get home in time to meet with Cara! We put the dogs in the garage, tidied up, and sat on the couch and waited. When the doorbell finally rang, I think I jumped about a foot off the couch and into the air... this was it. I hoped she liked us. Would she feel we were fit to be parents? Let alone, adoptive parents?
The meeting lasted all of 40-45 minutes and wasn't bad at all. Other than chatting more than I needed to (always do that when I'm nervous and excited!) and answering almost all of the questions for her before Joe had a chance to speak up (boy, he sure does pause a long time before answering sometimes!), I think it went really well. She seemed very nice, laid back, and overall very encouraging. I also decided to push a bit for timing details... as I've mentioned, my goal is to have this homestudy wrapped up and a completed report in my hands by the end of the month. Well, she was very supportive of that and agreed to come again two weeks to the day for our next visit. The Department of Homeland Security doesn't like to see the 1st and 2nd visits less than two weeks apart, so we'll do it at exactly two weeks! Then, after meeting with her at 4:00pm on June 15th, we'll have her back the following morning at 10:00am for the final visit! That's the visit where she'll do the actual house walk-through. She didn't go around the house at all this time... all that prepping the house for nothing. Oh well. Our next visit we have to do our individual interviews... one of us is interviewed and the other has to leave the house during the interview. Yep, nervous about that too. Surprise, surprise!
Once she completes the interviews, she says she'll write up the report the next day and submit a draft to everyone that needs to review it. Then, she'll make any changes necessary based upon those reviewing it, and get it signed and notarized. I should have it in hand and ready to drive up to the immigration office before June 26th... our departure day for our trip (I'll go into the trip later). So, all in all, it's great news so far! Woohoo! Yippee!! (Imagine hearing me whoop and holler cause it's exactly what I've been doing since our first visit! Dancing, talking a mile a minute, and shouting the good news to anyone that'll listen!)
On Saturday, (the day after our first home visit), we were scheduled to go to the Temecula area for our monthly Southern California Ethiopia Adopt family potluck. But, while we were at the gym working out that morning, we got a call from our realtor letting us know an offer was being faxed to him for our house! WOW! Talk about surprise... I was not expecting that call right then! So, we had to delay going to the potluck and meet with him to review the offer. Long story short, the offer was a total low-ball and probably won't materialize into anything exciting. We've countered twice now, and I'm not thinking it'll go anywhere. Oh well. So, we headed off to the potluck after writing up a counter offer, and began the fun! The family hosting the potluck has a great place with an awesome pool and Joe enjoyed splashing around and playing with all the kids. Will and Blaine (the hosts) have an amazing family with fantastic kids, and it was so wonderful of them to host for the group. As usual, I cooed at and played with the babies and toddlers while Joe transformed into the "big kid" and played for hours on end. There's just no leaving the potlucks without expending all of your energy!
And finally... we got to have some "twin time" today!!! It was SOOOOO great! One of Joe's friends at work has four and a half month old identical twin boys. Geoff (his friend) mentioned recently that since we were planning on requesting twins, that maybe we should come over to their house and spend some time changing diapers and seeing the "chaos" that can come with multiples. So, without hesitation, I jumped at the offer! We spent most of the day with Geoff, his fabulous wife, Valerie, and their absolutely adorable boys, Wesley and Harrison. It was amazing to see how great they're all doing at four and a half months. It sounds like sleep schedules are really tough right now (or should I say... a LACK of sleep & schedules! ;-) ) but the boys are really such happy babies and are quite mellow. They are total charmers and I personally just couldn't get enough of them. We all went to the Tustin Chili Cookoff together and I even got to practice maneuvering the big twin stroller... which is much tougher than it looks! The best part of the day is that Joe and I had such a great time with them and I think we all hit it off so well! I still don't have any really close girlfriends out here in SoCal, so finding I have so much in common with Valerie (including that I'll soon be a twin mom too... probably!), was so exciting. She's promised to take us up on our offer to come lend a hand, and that we'll start going to the gym together, and that's so awesome! Plus, she's got so many great tips on things that have helped them with managing two, and referrals for things like a pediatrician that they love, twin discounts, a local Moms with multiples club, a multiples nanny share, and all kinds of great books! Whew, I am so lucky to have met them! Thank you Geoff and Valerie!
So, in a nutshell (a BIG nutshell), that was our weekend! See, lots happened! And, tomorrow I have to get on a plane and head to Atlanta for 3 days for training. Ugh. I hate to be leaving town right now, but at least it's only 3 days. I'll post again soon with the details/update on our upcoming trip! It's just another exciting revelation in our ever crazy and exciting world!
**Yep, I'm all smiles right now! What a great weekend!
Thursday, May 24, 2007
We have a case worker!!!!!!
Oh my gosh, what a thrill! I had to leave the house for an hour because our listing agent wanted to show it to someone, and when I returned, I decided to call Angels' Haven Outreach to let them know that I had sent them Joe's birth certificate and our post placement agreement form. Well, when I asked more, I learned that they received one of our letters of reference finally today and assigned us a case worker!!! I nearly cried I was so excited! PROGRESS! They've mailed us another packet with her contact information, and we are supposed to give her a few days to review our file now that she has been assigned to us.
So, thanks to our fabulous friends for getting those letters of reference in! We couldn't have gotten this far without you... and that's the truth!
Now, time to have a fabulous, relaxing Memorial Day during which we will have a wonderful BBQ here at our place with some of our family. Good times, good times. Yippeeeee!!!!
So, thanks to our fabulous friends for getting those letters of reference in! We couldn't have gotten this far without you... and that's the truth!
Now, time to have a fabulous, relaxing Memorial Day during which we will have a wonderful BBQ here at our place with some of our family. Good times, good times. Yippeeeee!!!!
Placement Agency Application Received!
Well, I just found out that late yesterday afternoon Adoption Avenues finally received our application! Yeah! I faxed them all of the documents we have so far for our dossier in order to have them reviewed. I hate to get all the way to getting them notarized and certified, just to learn that something was wrong!
My fingers are crossed that everything has been done correctly so far!
My fingers are crossed that everything has been done correctly so far!
Wading our way through the impatience stage
I certainly know that in the world of adoption, patience is extremely important to possess. For me, that is an ever-present challenge to overcome. I imagine at the beginning of each stage of the adoption I will have to struggle through my initial impatience. For example, when Joe and I first decided to move forward with adoption last September, we didn't decide to begin right away, but start doing our research and prepare ourselves while waiting for the "right time." At first, it was so hard to wait to get started, I think I brought the topic up with Joe every day, discussing whether we shouldn't really get started sooner. After a time, though, I resolved myself to waiting a while, and then "all of a sudden" it was May and we were ready to get started!
Well, here I am again at the "beginning" of the next stage. The paperwork stage. And, not surprisingly, I am feeling very motivated to knock this stage out quickly and keep things moving forward. Impatience. Well, sort of. I also know that the majority of the adoption timeline is completely out of our hands... how quickly our social worker gets our homestudy written up, how long Immigration takes to process our application for a visa, how long we have to wait for a referral, how long we have to wait to travel, etc. So, this is the one stage I have some control over. Therefore, I find myself going crazy when someone or something else in the process holds us up. Seriously, I feel bad for my friends trying to write letters of reference for us! I have all of the documents to Angels' Haven Outreach that they need in order to start the homestudy... including the $1000 check I overnighted to them on Tuesday morning, but when I spoke with them yesterday, I was told they hadn't received any of our letters of reference, and they needed at least two of those before they'd assign us a social worker. Agggghhhhh!!!! Didn't anyone realize how hard I'd worked to get everything turned in so we could get a social worker assigned this week?! To make it worse, the agency is closed on Fridays, so now it's unlikely they'll get any of our references before Monday. Darn it. I should've sent money to each of the people we asked and begged them to overnight the letters... but I guess that may just be silly and showing my impatience too much.
You know you need to realign your focus when you spend an entire day hovering around your front door and walkway up to your front door, watching and waiting for the UPS delivery person. I seriously checked the door at least every 15 minutes throughout the afternoon. I even sat on the front porch for a while. I got a call yesterday morning informing me that a Next Day air package from "Tennessee Vital Records" would be delivered and someone had to sign for it. Now, I was left a bit confused since Joe was born in Cincinnati and that's where I ordered his birth certificates from, but what else could it be?! So, all day long, I couldn't leave the house, and poor Suka definitely found it to be unjust that we missed her park playtime! I started getting "nervous" when 5:00 came and still no delivery. Wouldn't you know it though, UPS stated on their website that deliveries were made to residential addresses until 7:00 pm. So, I waited. And then, at 6:47 pm... the UPS MAN ARRIVED! And, he DID have Joe's birth certificates! (Yes, I know I need to focus on other things...)
I also know that North Carolina Secretary of State's Authentication Department has my employment letter in hand now. (Thank goodness for package tracking!) It was delivered to them early yesterday morning. So, hopefully that'll get overnighted back to me and be in my hands by the early part of next week. One more item I can check off the list. Boy, do I ever love checking things off the list! It feels so good to inch each little step forward.
Yesterday, I finally received the letter from my bank (that I later found out they charged me $10 for without my permission or knowledge!), and it was a complete disaster! The letter was addressed to Donald and Cindy P... at our address! It had 3 accounts referenced on it (we have 4 through them) and the 3 on there were our account numbers! Let me remind you in case you've forgotten our names. We are Jessica and Joseph G... Not even close! The letter also did not state what it needed to and it wasn't notarized or on the blue and red bank letterhead paper!! The signature on the letter wasn't even a "wet" signature... it was printed off! It took over a week to receive (mailed from 20 miles away) and it wasn't even written for the correct names. Geesh. I'd heard BANK OF AMERICA was bad, particularly for obtaining the letters need for adoption dossiers, but come on! I will tell you though, that after spending 42 minutes and 15 seconds on the phone with the assistant of my Premier Banker (yep, having a large mortgage with the company I bank with does have its perks!) I had 2 copies of a new letter overnighted to us and the $10 charge credited back to my account. So, later today I should get the letters and HOPEFULLY this time they'll be right! Goose frabah.... (think "Anger Management" with Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson). I'm feeling better now. ;-)
I will also probably have to send another application and check to my placement agency, Adoption Avenues, because as of yesterday they still hadn't received my original application. That'll teach me for using regular old USPS. Slow and unpredictable. And with no way to track it, I have no idea if it's lost forever or still making its way to Oregon. By the time they get that, we'll be ready to turn around and send them a much bigger check ($4,000) and our signed contract package!
**Update, my application check to Adoption Avenues has been cashed and the application is in hand! Yeah!**
So, yeah. Things are moving along really well, but never fast enough for me. ;-) I think I'll feel better when we have a social worker and the next big hurdle (our homestudy) gets going. It looks encouraging to see how few items are left on my list of needed documents for the homestudy or dossier:
Well, here I am again at the "beginning" of the next stage. The paperwork stage. And, not surprisingly, I am feeling very motivated to knock this stage out quickly and keep things moving forward. Impatience. Well, sort of. I also know that the majority of the adoption timeline is completely out of our hands... how quickly our social worker gets our homestudy written up, how long Immigration takes to process our application for a visa, how long we have to wait for a referral, how long we have to wait to travel, etc. So, this is the one stage I have some control over. Therefore, I find myself going crazy when someone or something else in the process holds us up. Seriously, I feel bad for my friends trying to write letters of reference for us! I have all of the documents to Angels' Haven Outreach that they need in order to start the homestudy... including the $1000 check I overnighted to them on Tuesday morning, but when I spoke with them yesterday, I was told they hadn't received any of our letters of reference, and they needed at least two of those before they'd assign us a social worker. Agggghhhhh!!!! Didn't anyone realize how hard I'd worked to get everything turned in so we could get a social worker assigned this week?! To make it worse, the agency is closed on Fridays, so now it's unlikely they'll get any of our references before Monday. Darn it. I should've sent money to each of the people we asked and begged them to overnight the letters... but I guess that may just be silly and showing my impatience too much.
You know you need to realign your focus when you spend an entire day hovering around your front door and walkway up to your front door, watching and waiting for the UPS delivery person. I seriously checked the door at least every 15 minutes throughout the afternoon. I even sat on the front porch for a while. I got a call yesterday morning informing me that a Next Day air package from "Tennessee Vital Records" would be delivered and someone had to sign for it. Now, I was left a bit confused since Joe was born in Cincinnati and that's where I ordered his birth certificates from, but what else could it be?! So, all day long, I couldn't leave the house, and poor Suka definitely found it to be unjust that we missed her park playtime! I started getting "nervous" when 5:00 came and still no delivery. Wouldn't you know it though, UPS stated on their website that deliveries were made to residential addresses until 7:00 pm. So, I waited. And then, at 6:47 pm... the UPS MAN ARRIVED! And, he DID have Joe's birth certificates! (Yes, I know I need to focus on other things...)
I also know that North Carolina Secretary of State's Authentication Department has my employment letter in hand now. (Thank goodness for package tracking!) It was delivered to them early yesterday morning. So, hopefully that'll get overnighted back to me and be in my hands by the early part of next week. One more item I can check off the list. Boy, do I ever love checking things off the list! It feels so good to inch each little step forward.
Yesterday, I finally received the letter from my bank (that I later found out they charged me $10 for without my permission or knowledge!), and it was a complete disaster! The letter was addressed to Donald and Cindy P... at our address! It had 3 accounts referenced on it (we have 4 through them) and the 3 on there were our account numbers! Let me remind you in case you've forgotten our names. We are Jessica and Joseph G... Not even close! The letter also did not state what it needed to and it wasn't notarized or on the blue and red bank letterhead paper!! The signature on the letter wasn't even a "wet" signature... it was printed off! It took over a week to receive (mailed from 20 miles away) and it wasn't even written for the correct names. Geesh. I'd heard BANK OF AMERICA was bad, particularly for obtaining the letters need for adoption dossiers, but come on! I will tell you though, that after spending 42 minutes and 15 seconds on the phone with the assistant of my Premier Banker (yep, having a large mortgage with the company I bank with does have its perks!) I had 2 copies of a new letter overnighted to us and the $10 charge credited back to my account. So, later today I should get the letters and HOPEFULLY this time they'll be right! Goose frabah.... (think "Anger Management" with Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson). I'm feeling better now. ;-)
I will also probably have to send another application and check to my placement agency, Adoption Avenues, because as of yesterday they still hadn't received my original application. That'll teach me for using regular old USPS. Slow and unpredictable. And with no way to track it, I have no idea if it's lost forever or still making its way to Oregon. By the time they get that, we'll be ready to turn around and send them a much bigger check ($4,000) and our signed contract package!
**Update, my application check to Adoption Avenues has been cashed and the application is in hand! Yeah!**
So, yeah. Things are moving along really well, but never fast enough for me. ;-) I think I'll feel better when we have a social worker and the next big hurdle (our homestudy) gets going. It looks encouraging to see how few items are left on my list of needed documents for the homestudy or dossier:
- Criminal Clearance letter
- Letter from Financial Establishment
- Letters of reference
- Homestudy report (from homestudy agency)
- Homestudy license (from homestudy agency)
- Homestudy agency agreement (from homestudy agency)
- I-171H (can't apply for this until we get our completed homestudy!)
Not too shabby considering I just picked our agencies and got the list of items needed 10 days ago!
All in all, progress is good, and my impatience is starting to ease up as I settle into the paperchase phase. I really couldn't be happier that the journey is begun... I even let myself wander through the baby section of Wal-Mart the other day. Of course, I became so excited and overwhelmed that I began to cry, but that's another story! Bottles, formula, gidgets, and whatsits galore! Another reminder that this part of the journey into parenthood is only HALF the battle, the other part is learning what you need, what diapers to buy, bottles to use, formula, etc.
If you've made it this far, thanks for taking the time to hear about the progress and setbacks! Now, it's time to get back to work. I am banning myself from adoption related matters until 4:00 pm or later today (yeah right! I'm planning on running out to express mail Joe's birth certificate to Angels' Haven Outreach now!).
Monday, May 21, 2007
Homestudy application received!
Well, I just got word that Angels' Haven Outreach has received our application and is "intaking our file" this afternoon (whatever that means)! Yippee! One more little bit of progress to celebrate! Now, I need to go overnight them a check for the first installment! They must have this check before assigning us our case worker!
Everybody do the happy dance! You know I am!
Everybody do the happy dance! You know I am!
Welcome to the whirlwind!
Well, it's official. I am OBSESSED. Joe must think he's unleashed a crazy person! We're living in warp speed these days... I can't begin to express how motivated I have been to do everything I can to speed the process along. So far, I have gathered most of the documents needed for our dossier, and the ones that I don't have yet have been requested and are on their way. The biggest thing holding us up at this point it the homestudy. In order to get a social worker assigned to do our homestudy, we had to get the agency a long list of documents. On that list were things like birth certificates, marriage certificate, medical form signed by the Dr. for both of us, letters from our employers, letters of reference from friends, fingerprint clearances, etc., etc. At this point, the only thing I don't have to them is the letters from our employers (should have those to mail in the next day or two), and Joe's birth certificate. Our letters of reference should be on their way to Angels' Haven by now. I'm hoping that they'll go ahead and assign a social worker as soon as the bulk of these documents arrive in their office.
In order to familiarize you with the process, I thought I'd give an overview of it in order of steps we will go through. There is some overlap in a few of the steps, but most rely on previous steps in order to move forward.
In order to familiarize you with the process, I thought I'd give an overview of it in order of steps we will go through. There is some overlap in a few of the steps, but most rely on previous steps in order to move forward.
- Apply to Adoption Avenues (Ethiopia placement program) and Angels' Haven Outreach (Homestudy Agency)
- Gather documents required for Angels' Haven in order to begin actual homestudy. Also, be gathering documents for the Ethiopia dossier since there is a lot of overlap in what is needed for the homestudy and the dossier.
- Submit all documents for homestudy along with a check for $1,000 (1st half of homestudy fee).
- Sign Adoption Avenues contract and return it with a check for $4,000 (1st installment fee for 2 children).
- Homestudy (this could take a month or more to complete)
- Send final check of $1,000 to Angels' Haven Outreach prior to receiving completed homestudy. (OUR GOAL: Complete Homestudy by end of June!)
- Upon receipt of completed homestudy, drive to Los Angeles USCIS (Immigration) office and submit I-600A (Application for Advanced Processing of Orphan Petition) with all required documents. (From application to fingerprinting to approval will probably take AT LEAST a month, probably more like 2-3 months).
- Upon receiving I-171H (Notice of Favorable Determination...this document results from the approved I-600A), complete dossier and take to the Orange County Clerk and Recorder, followed by the Los Angeles Secretary of State's office for notary certification.
- FedEx Certified Dossier with check for $250 (Authentication/courier fee) to Adoption Avenues for submission via courier to Washington DC to the US Department of State and then to the Ethiopian Embassy to be Authenticated.
- Send $6,000 (2nd installment for 2 children) check sent to Adoption Avenues before dossier is sent to Ethiopia.
- Authenticated dossier sent to Ethiopia. Wait for referral officially begins.
- Receive referral, have international adoption doctor review and give feedback.
- Accept referral (or reject if there is just cause... in which case you wait for another referral), send final installment check to Adoption Avenues for $5,500.
- Case goes to court in Ethiopia... adoption is finalized in Ethiopia
- TRAVEL to get our babies!
Wow, what a process. It's very hard to nail down an accurate timeline for all of this, but we are HOPING we will be able to get through the process by the end of the year. That is one advantage to working with a small agency with no waiting list. Of course, paying for all of these things as we go is the other obstacle that could hold up the process. I have only listed the large expense items, and not all the costs for fingerprints, visa application, document notary & certification, postage, etc. We expect the grand total including travel to end up between $25,000 - $30,000. Hopefully, a large chunk of that we will be able to get back through the Adoption Tax Credit in the year after the adoption is finalized. One large advantage to getting our children before the end of this year is that we could get the tax credit next spring!
Please everyone keeps us in your thoughts for a speedy process! We are so thrilled to be so supported by our family and friends! We love you all so much and appreciate the kind words and support as we work through this journey towards becoming first time parents!
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Learning about multiples in Ethiopia
I recently saw an article about an NGO in Ethiopia called Ethiopian Gemini Trust. Their mission is to help families of multiples. It's fascinating to learn how much higher the percentage of births are twins in Ethiopia than in Europe or the US. The link I'm including is a transcript between a reporter and people that work at Ethiopian Gemini Trust and a few of the families supported by the foundation. It's fascinating to learn about the numbers...
http://www.abc.net.au/rn/talks/8.30/helthrpt/stories/s337924.htm
Here is the link to Ethiopian's Gemini Trust website. There is information on what they offer to families, as well as ways you can help. You can even sponsor a set of twins!
http://www.geminitrust.org/about.htm
Their current struggles are mentioned in the most recent newsletter:
http://www.geminitrust.org/newsletter.htm
If you're into statistics, graphs, and figures, be sure to check out this study. It shows a very high level of infant mortality in multiple births in Ethiopia, and a VERY interesting trend for an increased number of births to multiples in the months of March, September, and December; whereas singleton births remain relatively consistent throughout the year... Hmmm.
http://www.cih.uib.no/journals/EJHD/ejhdv16-special-issue/ejhd-v16-s-p5.PDF
So, ask yourself, what can YOU do to help??
Happy Mother's Day...
http://www.abc.net.au/rn/talks/8.30/helthrpt/stories/s337924.htm
Here is the link to Ethiopian's Gemini Trust website. There is information on what they offer to families, as well as ways you can help. You can even sponsor a set of twins!
http://www.geminitrust.org/about.htm
Their current struggles are mentioned in the most recent newsletter:
http://www.geminitrust.org/newsletter.htm
If you're into statistics, graphs, and figures, be sure to check out this study. It shows a very high level of infant mortality in multiple births in Ethiopia, and a VERY interesting trend for an increased number of births to multiples in the months of March, September, and December; whereas singleton births remain relatively consistent throughout the year... Hmmm.
http://www.cih.uib.no/journals/EJHD/ejhdv16-special-issue/ejhd-v16-s-p5.PDF
So, ask yourself, what can YOU do to help??
Happy Mother's Day...
Friday, May 11, 2007
We're off to the races!!!!
Oh my gosh! What is the world's best Mother's Day surprise?! Finding out you're beginning your journey towards motherhood! But, in order for you to fully understand how this news came about, I've got to give you the whole story!
Joe and I were determined to get our moms great gifts this year for Mother's Day. Too many Mother's Days have passed with us getting them little more than a card or a phone call. This year was going to be different. So, we finally decided on the right gift for my mom, but then were stumped as to what to get Lee (Joe's mom). A few weeks before it crossed my mind that it'd be fun to surprise Lee with a visit from Joe for Mother's Day, but lately Joe's been super busy at work trying to meet some deadlines, so I didn't think it'd work and kept thinking. Then, on Wednesday evening, as Joe and I discussed what we'd do for Lee (I mean, we now only had DAYS to make it happen), Joe casually suggested he thought maybe he should go out and see her for gift. We discussed what days he could afford to take off work, and I began to price flights. Nothing seemed to be working out. Ticket fares were high and he didn't have enough flexibility in his work schedule to get anything to work out. Bummer. All evening long, Joe and I were bummed that the idea had flopped. Thursday morning (yesterday) I was still so disappointed I hadn't been able to find a winning ticket fare/schedule, I decided to give it another look. This time, I took I bit more initiative with Joe's work calendar and found something that would work... he'd just have to miss a meeting he'd told me he couldn't miss. (I know... shame on me!). So, I bought the ticket and called Joe. Here's the way our call went:
Joe: Hello
Jesi: Hi. You're on a flight today at 3:40, so you need to be home by 2:00 to pack and let me take you to the airport.
Joe: What?
Jesi: You're flying to Colorado this afternoon to see your mom for Mother's Day. I'm sorry you'll have to miss your meeting, but you haven't seen your mom in a year and a half, so you're getting on a plane at 3:40 today!
Joe: Wow, ok.
And so on... he was home by 2:00 to pack an then off to the airport. As I drove him to the Orange County airport, he told me I was going to have a busy weekend too. I asked why, and he said that he was going to tell me on Mother's Day, but since he'd be gone, thought he should tell me now. He wanted us to finally start the adoption!!!!! Let me tell you, the last mile or two of the drive was quite perilous! I was crying/misty eyed, shocked, and generally having a tough time paying enough attention to the road. I couldn't believe it! After that slab leak, I figured it'd be another 6 months before Joe would consider moving ahead... silly me!
So, as you can all guess, I've been VERY busy since yesterday afternoon. Despite all the agency research I'd done starting in September 2006, I was totally unsure of what agency we'd use to do our Homestudy and Placement. Since there are no agencies in the state of California that do Ethiopian placements, we have to work with two different agencies. Yikes... it's such a difficult decision to make. I really like certain things about different agencies, but in the end what is most important to us is the flexibility in what they let us specify as to the child(ren) we want to adopt and our ages (still aren't 25... but we're getting there!). I'm hoping/planning to have the agencies selected by Monday. The biggest reason I haven't decided on the Homestudy Agency yet is that the one I THINK we're going to use is CLOSED on Fridays. Go figure. I have some questions to ask, and no one but an answering machine to tell them to! Rats.
So, that's it for now. I'm beyond elated that I'm finally on my way to being a mommy! I think the fun we had at the last potluck may have broken Joe's final thread of patience... what do you think? Anyway, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to you all! Please keep us in your thoughts as we begin this whirlwind experience! The race to finish the paperchase has officially begun!
Joe and I were determined to get our moms great gifts this year for Mother's Day. Too many Mother's Days have passed with us getting them little more than a card or a phone call. This year was going to be different. So, we finally decided on the right gift for my mom, but then were stumped as to what to get Lee (Joe's mom). A few weeks before it crossed my mind that it'd be fun to surprise Lee with a visit from Joe for Mother's Day, but lately Joe's been super busy at work trying to meet some deadlines, so I didn't think it'd work and kept thinking. Then, on Wednesday evening, as Joe and I discussed what we'd do for Lee (I mean, we now only had DAYS to make it happen), Joe casually suggested he thought maybe he should go out and see her for gift. We discussed what days he could afford to take off work, and I began to price flights. Nothing seemed to be working out. Ticket fares were high and he didn't have enough flexibility in his work schedule to get anything to work out. Bummer. All evening long, Joe and I were bummed that the idea had flopped. Thursday morning (yesterday) I was still so disappointed I hadn't been able to find a winning ticket fare/schedule, I decided to give it another look. This time, I took I bit more initiative with Joe's work calendar and found something that would work... he'd just have to miss a meeting he'd told me he couldn't miss. (I know... shame on me!). So, I bought the ticket and called Joe. Here's the way our call went:
Joe: Hello
Jesi: Hi. You're on a flight today at 3:40, so you need to be home by 2:00 to pack and let me take you to the airport.
Joe: What?
Jesi: You're flying to Colorado this afternoon to see your mom for Mother's Day. I'm sorry you'll have to miss your meeting, but you haven't seen your mom in a year and a half, so you're getting on a plane at 3:40 today!
Joe: Wow, ok.
And so on... he was home by 2:00 to pack an then off to the airport. As I drove him to the Orange County airport, he told me I was going to have a busy weekend too. I asked why, and he said that he was going to tell me on Mother's Day, but since he'd be gone, thought he should tell me now. He wanted us to finally start the adoption!!!!! Let me tell you, the last mile or two of the drive was quite perilous! I was crying/misty eyed, shocked, and generally having a tough time paying enough attention to the road. I couldn't believe it! After that slab leak, I figured it'd be another 6 months before Joe would consider moving ahead... silly me!
So, as you can all guess, I've been VERY busy since yesterday afternoon. Despite all the agency research I'd done starting in September 2006, I was totally unsure of what agency we'd use to do our Homestudy and Placement. Since there are no agencies in the state of California that do Ethiopian placements, we have to work with two different agencies. Yikes... it's such a difficult decision to make. I really like certain things about different agencies, but in the end what is most important to us is the flexibility in what they let us specify as to the child(ren) we want to adopt and our ages (still aren't 25... but we're getting there!). I'm hoping/planning to have the agencies selected by Monday. The biggest reason I haven't decided on the Homestudy Agency yet is that the one I THINK we're going to use is CLOSED on Fridays. Go figure. I have some questions to ask, and no one but an answering machine to tell them to! Rats.
So, that's it for now. I'm beyond elated that I'm finally on my way to being a mommy! I think the fun we had at the last potluck may have broken Joe's final thread of patience... what do you think? Anyway, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to you all! Please keep us in your thoughts as we begin this whirlwind experience! The race to finish the paperchase has officially begun!
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Potluck Fun for Southern California Ethiopian Adoptive Families... and more updates!
Wow, what an amazing weekend Joe and I had. On Saturday, we finally reunited with other Ethiopian adoptive families from all around Southern California for a potluck! It was the first potluck our group has had since November and it was so exciting to see everyone. As before, it was exciting and inspiring to see all of the amazing families. I felt so fortunate because we had the opportunity to meet our friends two beautiful new girls that arrived from Ethiopia only two weeks before! I can't believe how great they were doing as a family after only 2 weeks! Joe seemed to have a blast playing with some of the older kids, and I lucked into playing dress-up and having my make-up done by a couple of the younger girls.
The potluck was a welcome break from the showings at our house. Just about anytime we start to feel relaxed or comfortable, we seem to get another call for a showing. Since we have 3 d0gs, that's a bit of an ordeal! Straighten up the house, load up the dogs, water bowl, etc. into the car, get all the dog beds and dog toys out of the house, and go for a drive until the showing is over. We had the dogs in the car with us for about 4-5 hours on Sunday! One of the showings lasted about an hour... and that's after I walked in on them looking around the house! Whoops! It's definitely good to have lots of showings, but it's been rather stressful for me on workdays. Even if I'm on a conference call I have to answer the house line, because it could be a realtor calling to schedule a showing and if I don't answer, they can come over! So, I've been trying to become proficient at conducting meeting with my laptop in the car with the 3 dogs whining to go back in the house! If I keep the car parked close enough to our back patio, I still get internet reception and can get my work done! Not ideal, but I know I have to try and be flexible right now.
Oh, and to make things even more exciting, our house had a little gift in store for us... We listed the house on April 23rd (a Tuesday). The following Wednesday, I discovered something rather devestating. We had a hot water SLAB LEAK!!! NOT what you want to have happen ever, but especially not when you're trying to sell it! After re-prioritizing my day and calling around to try and find out what we'd have to do, I got an estimator lined up to come out that evening. We've decided it's best to have the pipes epoxied. They determined the hole in our pipe is small enough it should be able to be fixed with the special epoxy mixture, and at the same time, it'll seal all the pipes in our house and prevent any future leaks! AND, it's 100% guaranteed for life! The problem is, it's not cheap. There's $8,000 out of our adoption fund. Grr! But, the likelihood another leak will develop, and soon, is quite high. So it really is the best choice. Plus, they shouldn't have to do any drywall work this way, so all that new drywall in the ceiling of the kitchen that was done about 2 weeks before this happened SHOULD be able to stay untouched! HOORAY!
So, that, in a nutshell, is how it's going. We are planning on trying to nail down our start date for the adoption in about 14 more days! That's 30 days into having the house listed and we'll decide whether we want to start moving forward while the house is on the market. It may not sell... and I'd hate to wait another 6 months to start the adoption for nothing! If it does sell, I figure we can coordinate the details and deal with that as it arises. Sometimes I think you just have to have faith in yourself that you will be able to work things out. That's life... you never know what's coming next.
The potluck was a welcome break from the showings at our house. Just about anytime we start to feel relaxed or comfortable, we seem to get another call for a showing. Since we have 3 d0gs, that's a bit of an ordeal! Straighten up the house, load up the dogs, water bowl, etc. into the car, get all the dog beds and dog toys out of the house, and go for a drive until the showing is over. We had the dogs in the car with us for about 4-5 hours on Sunday! One of the showings lasted about an hour... and that's after I walked in on them looking around the house! Whoops! It's definitely good to have lots of showings, but it's been rather stressful for me on workdays. Even if I'm on a conference call I have to answer the house line, because it could be a realtor calling to schedule a showing and if I don't answer, they can come over! So, I've been trying to become proficient at conducting meeting with my laptop in the car with the 3 dogs whining to go back in the house! If I keep the car parked close enough to our back patio, I still get internet reception and can get my work done! Not ideal, but I know I have to try and be flexible right now.
Oh, and to make things even more exciting, our house had a little gift in store for us... We listed the house on April 23rd (a Tuesday). The following Wednesday, I discovered something rather devestating. We had a hot water SLAB LEAK!!! NOT what you want to have happen ever, but especially not when you're trying to sell it! After re-prioritizing my day and calling around to try and find out what we'd have to do, I got an estimator lined up to come out that evening. We've decided it's best to have the pipes epoxied. They determined the hole in our pipe is small enough it should be able to be fixed with the special epoxy mixture, and at the same time, it'll seal all the pipes in our house and prevent any future leaks! AND, it's 100% guaranteed for life! The problem is, it's not cheap. There's $8,000 out of our adoption fund. Grr! But, the likelihood another leak will develop, and soon, is quite high. So it really is the best choice. Plus, they shouldn't have to do any drywall work this way, so all that new drywall in the ceiling of the kitchen that was done about 2 weeks before this happened SHOULD be able to stay untouched! HOORAY!
So, that, in a nutshell, is how it's going. We are planning on trying to nail down our start date for the adoption in about 14 more days! That's 30 days into having the house listed and we'll decide whether we want to start moving forward while the house is on the market. It may not sell... and I'd hate to wait another 6 months to start the adoption for nothing! If it does sell, I figure we can coordinate the details and deal with that as it arises. Sometimes I think you just have to have faith in yourself that you will be able to work things out. That's life... you never know what's coming next.
Friday, April 20, 2007
A long overdue update
Wow, you'd think we'd dropped off the radar! It's been a long time since I've written and that's because I've not been sure what to write. Joe and I have been trying to make a number of decisions lately, and until we made a decision, I was hesitant to post an update. So, now that we're closer to "knowing" the plan, I thought I'd bring everyone back up to speed!
Joe and I have decided to put our condo on the market. Although it's a soft market, we feel it's in our best interest to try and sell now while prices are lower so we can get into a single family home with a little yard and a driveway before the adoption is complete. Since we have 3 dogs (yes, 3 dogs!), we want to have a little more backyard space than we currently have on our patio for them to play. I have a feeling that once we get a baby or two home it'll be a lot harder to get them walked as often and I'd feel better knowing they had some space to go outside, lay in the grass, and enjoy the day. We also know that being in a single family home is better for appreciation in the long run, so trying to get into one sooner is better than later. And, we're hoping to take advantage of the high foreclosure rates right now to get a better deal. I'm sure MANY of you are going to ask why we are going to move when we've been doing so much remodeling to our current place. That's tough to answer, but I guess the easiest way is by mentioning that when we did our upgrades, it wasn't because we planned on living here that long, it was because it will also help our resale value and marketability.
So, in a nutshell, that's where we're at. We've been scrambling (and that may be a huge understatement!) to get all the final projects wrapped up and we're ALMOST done. It's been a whirlwind the last month or two and I can't wait for Monday. On Monday, the photographer comes to take pictures of our place for the flyers and our house will go on the market. Next week is a big week and will also mean all the projects and late nights working on the house will be over! So, it's a win-win situation! Whether we can get our place sold or not, we rushed to get it done and will have a completed house!! I can't even tell you how great the place looks! The kitchen looks completely different, the bathrooms are finally finished (and the new paint looks great if I don't say so myself), we have almost done it! Hooray!
In the meantime, we have not started the adoption yet. I can't believe I've made it to late April and not lost my mind to the waiting to start yet, but I guess the scramble to complete our house has really helped time pass quickly. We are planning to start soon, just not sure if we'll wait until a month or two into having this place on the market so we can get moved first (or see if it's seeming likely that we will be moving), or start once it's on the market and we finally have some time to actually work on getting the paperwork together and doing the homestudy. While the first option is probably the smartest so we aren't in the middle of the adoption/homestudy and then have to move, we are anxious to get started as the wait times for referrals seem to increase everyday and we are ready to become parents!
On the work front, I'm still on a project where I get to work from home, which is my first choice of work locations! I have changed projects twice since January though, and am now in a really great role where I should gain some invaluable experience and have a great team of people to work with. Joe is doing great at Central Park West, as usual. I can't even believe how amazing he is! Occasionally I get to have lunch with him at the job site, and there are almost always interruptions. It's really neat to watch him at work, talking to people and see how he carries himself. He's become such an amazing man and I am so proud of him! I don't know how he does what he does, and so well! It seems like only a couple of years ago that we were cruising around the high school while he bummed change from people at the vending machine so he could get some gas for his old Toyota pickup. Now, here he is running a site that is extremely complicated and important to the company. I can only hope that his bosses know how truly blessed they are to have Joe working for him, because he is the best guy to get the job done! (Whew, enough of the bragging about Joe, eh?! I just can't help it, he's doing such a great job!)
That's our status for the moment. Every day my heart aches more and more while I wait to begin the journey to parenthood. I'm beginning to look into volunteer opportunities in Ethiopia, and Africa in general, as something we may do while we're waiting to bring our babies home. There was a Habitat for Humanity trip to Ethiopia we tried to get on, but by the time we heard about it and sent in a request for more info, the trip was already full. I'm confident that an opportunity will arise for us to go and help firsthand before long. In the meantime, we'll keep the updates coming and be hoping that everything falls into place quickly... this will definitely be a Spring to remember!
Joe and I have decided to put our condo on the market. Although it's a soft market, we feel it's in our best interest to try and sell now while prices are lower so we can get into a single family home with a little yard and a driveway before the adoption is complete. Since we have 3 dogs (yes, 3 dogs!), we want to have a little more backyard space than we currently have on our patio for them to play. I have a feeling that once we get a baby or two home it'll be a lot harder to get them walked as often and I'd feel better knowing they had some space to go outside, lay in the grass, and enjoy the day. We also know that being in a single family home is better for appreciation in the long run, so trying to get into one sooner is better than later. And, we're hoping to take advantage of the high foreclosure rates right now to get a better deal. I'm sure MANY of you are going to ask why we are going to move when we've been doing so much remodeling to our current place. That's tough to answer, but I guess the easiest way is by mentioning that when we did our upgrades, it wasn't because we planned on living here that long, it was because it will also help our resale value and marketability.
So, in a nutshell, that's where we're at. We've been scrambling (and that may be a huge understatement!) to get all the final projects wrapped up and we're ALMOST done. It's been a whirlwind the last month or two and I can't wait for Monday. On Monday, the photographer comes to take pictures of our place for the flyers and our house will go on the market. Next week is a big week and will also mean all the projects and late nights working on the house will be over! So, it's a win-win situation! Whether we can get our place sold or not, we rushed to get it done and will have a completed house!! I can't even tell you how great the place looks! The kitchen looks completely different, the bathrooms are finally finished (and the new paint looks great if I don't say so myself), we have almost done it! Hooray!
In the meantime, we have not started the adoption yet. I can't believe I've made it to late April and not lost my mind to the waiting to start yet, but I guess the scramble to complete our house has really helped time pass quickly. We are planning to start soon, just not sure if we'll wait until a month or two into having this place on the market so we can get moved first (or see if it's seeming likely that we will be moving), or start once it's on the market and we finally have some time to actually work on getting the paperwork together and doing the homestudy. While the first option is probably the smartest so we aren't in the middle of the adoption/homestudy and then have to move, we are anxious to get started as the wait times for referrals seem to increase everyday and we are ready to become parents!
On the work front, I'm still on a project where I get to work from home, which is my first choice of work locations! I have changed projects twice since January though, and am now in a really great role where I should gain some invaluable experience and have a great team of people to work with. Joe is doing great at Central Park West, as usual. I can't even believe how amazing he is! Occasionally I get to have lunch with him at the job site, and there are almost always interruptions. It's really neat to watch him at work, talking to people and see how he carries himself. He's become such an amazing man and I am so proud of him! I don't know how he does what he does, and so well! It seems like only a couple of years ago that we were cruising around the high school while he bummed change from people at the vending machine so he could get some gas for his old Toyota pickup. Now, here he is running a site that is extremely complicated and important to the company. I can only hope that his bosses know how truly blessed they are to have Joe working for him, because he is the best guy to get the job done! (Whew, enough of the bragging about Joe, eh?! I just can't help it, he's doing such a great job!)
That's our status for the moment. Every day my heart aches more and more while I wait to begin the journey to parenthood. I'm beginning to look into volunteer opportunities in Ethiopia, and Africa in general, as something we may do while we're waiting to bring our babies home. There was a Habitat for Humanity trip to Ethiopia we tried to get on, but by the time we heard about it and sent in a request for more info, the trip was already full. I'm confident that an opportunity will arise for us to go and help firsthand before long. In the meantime, we'll keep the updates coming and be hoping that everything falls into place quickly... this will definitely be a Spring to remember!
Thursday, February 01, 2007
It's 2007... why are we stuck in the 1950's?!
I ran across a video this morning that has shocked me. Maybe I am just a naive "white woman," but this video makes me embarrassed and ashamed. Have we not progressed in the last 50 years to a point where at least the majority of people are surrounded by the knowledge that dark skin is just as beautiful as light skin? I wouldn't have guessed how skewed my hopes were before watching this video.
I have so many updates I need to make to this blog, but have been extremely busy in the last couple of weeks and haven't had the opportunity to do so. I'll be sure to update you all soon, but in the meantime, I felt that I had to share the link to this powerful documentary. It's not even 10 minutes long, so please take the time to watch it when you have the time.
The video I'm referring to is the second thumbnail, video 02. If it doesn't automatically load that video, just click on the thumbnail.
http://www.mediathatmattersfest.org/6/index.php?id=2
I have so many updates I need to make to this blog, but have been extremely busy in the last couple of weeks and haven't had the opportunity to do so. I'll be sure to update you all soon, but in the meantime, I felt that I had to share the link to this powerful documentary. It's not even 10 minutes long, so please take the time to watch it when you have the time.
The video I'm referring to is the second thumbnail, video 02. If it doesn't automatically load that video, just click on the thumbnail.
http://www.mediathatmattersfest.org/6/index.php?id=2
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Sad facts about a harsh reality
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/28/world/africa/2A8malnutrition.html?ex=1168318800&en=6aed053bd153bbb2&ei=5070&emc=eta1
This is an eye-opening article about the devastation of malnutrition in Sub Saharan Africa, and Ethiopia in particular. Sitting here in our comfortable home in Southern California, reading the article with a full stomach, is more than enough to remind me how lucky Joe and I truly are.
This is an eye-opening article about the devastation of malnutrition in Sub Saharan Africa, and Ethiopia in particular. Sitting here in our comfortable home in Southern California, reading the article with a full stomach, is more than enough to remind me how lucky Joe and I truly are.
Monday, January 01, 2007
A Very Merry Christmas
The holidays have kept us so busy I haven't had any time to post lately. We are so fortunate to have such an amazing family! On Christmas Eve I quickly finished up some baking to take some goodies to Joe's Aunt Pam and Uncle Rick's annual Christmas Eve open house. We had a fabulous time playing with all the kids and talking with family and friends. We have such an amazing family.
For me, a huge highlight of the open house was getting Dasha, Joe's cousin and her husband's newly adopted daughter, to play with me. She is such an amazing little girl who has made truly amazing progress since she arrived to her forever home from Kazakhstan in mid November. She has some incredible hula-hooping skills and tried her best to help me master the art of the hula hoop. To her dismay and amusement, I really wasn't a very quick learner. It's been years since I touched a hula hoop... and during that time I seem to have lost the touch. Nevertheless, Dasha and her brothers, sister, and cousins were a joy to play with and kept me busy running around outside enjoying the 75 degree weather.
Christmas itself was a great day, despite the disappointment we felt that the blizzard in Colorado had prevented dad and Zak from making it to California. It was a bit of a holiday hold-up. We opened some presents and still fixed a fabulous Christmas dinner, but with the guys missing, it just wasn't the same. Mom, Marty, Joe and I dined in style on the patio since we had such perfect weather.
Two days later dad and Zak arrived and we had our second Christmas. Since they've been here, Joe took dad and Zak to see his site, we went to the San Juan Capistrano Mission, took Zak out on the town in Laguna Beach, played Laser Tag in Sherman Oaks (dad's Christmas gift from Marty), and then partied it up at Marty's place for the New Year's Eve countdown.
All in all, it's been a great year. I can't believe it's now 2007 and we will soon be actually starting the adoption. Joe and I need to start gathering papers to speed the paperchase as the homestudy and dossier prep stages of the adoption get underway. It's amazing to think that as early as this time next year, we may be blessed to be the parents of one or two amazing kids.
Next steps: order certified copies of our birth certificates and marriage license, complete application with placement agency and homestudy agency... making our journey "OFFICIAL!"
Stay tuned...!!!! May you all have a happy, healthy, and fabulous 2007!
For me, a huge highlight of the open house was getting Dasha, Joe's cousin and her husband's newly adopted daughter, to play with me. She is such an amazing little girl who has made truly amazing progress since she arrived to her forever home from Kazakhstan in mid November. She has some incredible hula-hooping skills and tried her best to help me master the art of the hula hoop. To her dismay and amusement, I really wasn't a very quick learner. It's been years since I touched a hula hoop... and during that time I seem to have lost the touch. Nevertheless, Dasha and her brothers, sister, and cousins were a joy to play with and kept me busy running around outside enjoying the 75 degree weather.
Christmas itself was a great day, despite the disappointment we felt that the blizzard in Colorado had prevented dad and Zak from making it to California. It was a bit of a holiday hold-up. We opened some presents and still fixed a fabulous Christmas dinner, but with the guys missing, it just wasn't the same. Mom, Marty, Joe and I dined in style on the patio since we had such perfect weather.
Two days later dad and Zak arrived and we had our second Christmas. Since they've been here, Joe took dad and Zak to see his site, we went to the San Juan Capistrano Mission, took Zak out on the town in Laguna Beach, played Laser Tag in Sherman Oaks (dad's Christmas gift from Marty), and then partied it up at Marty's place for the New Year's Eve countdown.
All in all, it's been a great year. I can't believe it's now 2007 and we will soon be actually starting the adoption. Joe and I need to start gathering papers to speed the paperchase as the homestudy and dossier prep stages of the adoption get underway. It's amazing to think that as early as this time next year, we may be blessed to be the parents of one or two amazing kids.
Next steps: order certified copies of our birth certificates and marriage license, complete application with placement agency and homestudy agency... making our journey "OFFICIAL!"
Stay tuned...!!!! May you all have a happy, healthy, and fabulous 2007!
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Sunset over Catalina
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November 11, 2006Suka, Joe, and Jesi enjoying a nice day at the dog beach in Huntington Beach. A bit overcast, but the water was warm and the air temperature was just right!
October 6, 2006Enjoying a sunset at Aliso Creek beach park in south Laguna Beach during our beach bbq to celebrate the fall family birthdays (mom, myself, Zak, and Joe's) while we were all together. Yes... it's gorgeous here and we are so fortunate to live in such a magnificent area! That's (Catalina island in the horizon of the photo)
An Ethiopian feast ends with a momentous decision
It's been much too long since my last post, so please accept my apologies for the delay! I can tell you that lately our quiet lives have been rather hectic. I have so much to report that it's hard to know where to begin.
The day after Thanksgiving was a day I've been looking forward to for a while now. It was to be our first time attending a southern California Ethiopian adoptive family potluck! For weeks I drove Joe nuts talking to him about how great it was going to be and preparing for the moment when we would finally get to meet other families that have adopted/are adopting from Ethiopia. Not to mention the thrill of finally meeting some of their precious little ones in person.
The potluck was down in San Diego, which is about an hour and a half from us, but of course, as fate would have it, Joe and I hit terrible traffic on the drive down. For any of you that know me, you can imagine that with my excitement and two months of waiting for this day, I was a handful for Joe to deal with as we inched our way closer to San Diego. I kept looking at our navigation system's screen as it ticked away the minutes to our arrival at the destination. By the time it showed an arrival time of 1:58 pm... nearly an hour after the potluck was to begin, I was near tears. As I've said before, I've never been very patient and to me, every minute we were missing was one less minute spent at the potluck. Before long, we were so desperate that we hopped off the freeway (in the middle of nowhere in between Orange County and San Diego where there is nothing around but open land and one road that is part of Camp Pendleton), and we thankfully took advantage of having military id's. After we zipped through security, we were cruising. Now we were smokin'; 35 mph feels fast enough to take the wrinkles out after such a dramatic slow down on the freeway. Since we were now driving on a small and winding road through Camp Pendleton that more or less paralleled the freeway, we really had to follow the speed limit to avoid a ticket from the MP's (military police). Apparently they don't have enough to do so speeding tickets are the highlight of an MP's day.
By 2:00 pm we had arrived at our destination. The party had begun and a sign on the front door told visitors to go ahead and enter. We shyly made our way towards the action out back and met the hostess. My eyes filled with the sights and sounds of kids splashing in the beautiful pool surrounded by rock walls and an attached hot tub. Teenagers, babies, toddlers, you name it, they were there. I think in total that day there were said to be about 70 people in attendance. My attention quickly became rapt as we admired the littlest members of the crowd, taking in their smiles and giggles. One little doll grabbed my finger while in her daddy's arms and wouldn't let go. She was too cute for words.
Although the children had quickly caught our focus, we did turn it to talking to the parents and future parents in the crowd. We met a wonderful couple that lives up near my uncle and are currently awaiting their referral for siblings. We swapped stories, discussed agencies, various decisions that have to be made, and enjoyed some fabulous Ethiopian food. We asked so many questions of the parents that have already got their kids home from Ethiopia, and were thrilled about the support they showed us when we told them about the difficulty our age has posed for us. They rallied around us and our decision to do this, despite our young age, and many offered to help in any way they could. My heart felt like it was going to explode with excitement and thanks. They answered all sorts of questions ranging from reasons for choosing the agency they worked with to how they decided on the age and number of children they adopted.
As the afternoon wound down and people began to say goodbye, Joe and I reluctantly made our way toward the door. The day was filled with smiles, laughter, and truckloads of information. By the time we climbed in the car, Joe looked at me and confirmed with me something very exciting. We have been waiting to feel more certain before posting this update, so please start the drum roll.... after MUCH deliberation, Joe and I are planning on adopting twins or siblings rather than just one infant. **PAUSE** Yes, you read that correctly. We are now planning on starting the adoption process with the intention of adopting twins, or possibly siblings. We are still working on deciding on that one, or maybe we'll leave it open and see what we're referred. This may be something we discuss more with the social worker that does our homestudy before we make a final decision. I have talked it over at length with the social worker with Adoption Avenues and she seems to feel strongly supportive of this choice.
Now, you may just be sitting there wondering "What in the heck are they thinking?!" Believe me, when this idea started going through my mind, I started questioning my sanity as well. But after considering it for about two or three months now, not only do I feel comfortable with the logic behind what my heart it telling me, but Joe has also come to agree with me. Before I begin the attempt at explaining our reasons, I want to cover an important issue that surrounds our adoption. Race, ethnicity, skin color. Yes, we are adopting transculturally. And not just transculturally, but transracially. Since it's an important aspect of our adoption, I need to cover some important ground about this issue that so many people are interested in understanding our position on. You'll probably hear many different opinions on the matter from different transcultural/transracial adoptive families you talk to, and our own feelings will undoubtedly evolve as the process unfolds. This can be such a touchy subject in our society that it's been a struggle for us to know how to handle. So, I'll tackle this one like Joe. Blunt and to the point. Joe and I are Caucasian. We are white... blond hair, blue eyes, and very light colored skin. Our baby(ies) will not have that in common with us. They will have black/brown/dark skin, likely dark brown eyes, and curly black/brown hair. By doing this, we will be creating a family that is transracial. More importantly (and appropriately), transcultural. Our family will grow and be able to add the long and very rich history of Ethiopia to it. Our children may not look just like us, that is part of what will make our family so special and beautiful. Joe and I feel "colorblind" in a sense, but realize that in order to fully support and care for our children, we cannot be completely colorblind. It would be an injustice to our future children. We want them to know everything they can about their Ethiopian roots and have a strong pride in their culture and history. Ethiopia is an amazing country, filled with amazing people. We would never take that away from our children. Both Joe and myself feel that it is a blessing in every sense of the word to be privileged to have a transcultural/transracial family.
That being said, I'll get back to our feelings about adopting two rather than one. We want our child to have the comfort of growing up with a sibling that looks like them and shares a similar history. When they get old enough to start realizing that they don't look like mommy and daddy, I want them to be able to have that commonality with their brother/sister. When they are struggling with issues surrounding their adoption, I want them to have the support and closeness of a sibling that has that in common. Joe and I will always do our best to show them that we love them unconditionally and embrace their culture, history and beautiful dark skin, but it's not the same as having a sibling they can share that with. Someone that looks like them and share a similar life story.
We've thought about doing two separate adoptions, from Ethiopia, but don't feel that's the right decision for us. Adoptions are long, stressful, emotionally, physically, and financially draining. Getting our kids at the same time will allow us to work through the transition at once instead of two separate times. It also means our kids will have a playmate from the get-go, which is nice for the entire family. They will get to have each other as they go through the process of adjusting to life in our family and grow up together with that special bond.
None of this is to say that there's anything wrong with adopting just one child. Or doing separate adoptions. I'm just attempting to explain our own personal feelings on what works best for us. Since it's so late here, I also hope this reads how it's supposed to. Sometimes thoughts and feelings can be so hard to put on paper and still make sense. Nothing is set in stone yet... it'll be a long while yet before we get our referral and until we have the referral, get through court, and travel to Ethiopia to bring our little angels home, everything is an uncertainty. But, until the stork tells us what he's bringing, you can expect it'll be twins!!! I've always dreamed of being a mommy to twins... as crazy and difficult as I am sure it can/will be on some days, the amazing bond they share and joy they will add to our lives will be well worth it!
The final announcement I have for tonight is that my mom has finally moved to California!!! Surprise! I can't even begin to tell you all how happy that makes me! She flew out here last Tuesday and started work on Wednesday, November 29. We convinced her to stay with us since dad is stuck in Colorado finishing a few projects around the house before he can list it for sale. In the meantime, we're doing our best to send him our love and talk lots on the phone! He's the only one left in Colorado now! I hope that the house sells quickly once they list it in the spring, but with the way the housing market's been so slow... it may be a while before dad can get out here to join mom. So, despite the fact that I am so sad dad isn't out here with mom, I am overjoyed to have her around to spend time with again. You can only imagine how big I've been grinning lately with all the exciting changes happening!
The day after Thanksgiving was a day I've been looking forward to for a while now. It was to be our first time attending a southern California Ethiopian adoptive family potluck! For weeks I drove Joe nuts talking to him about how great it was going to be and preparing for the moment when we would finally get to meet other families that have adopted/are adopting from Ethiopia. Not to mention the thrill of finally meeting some of their precious little ones in person.
The potluck was down in San Diego, which is about an hour and a half from us, but of course, as fate would have it, Joe and I hit terrible traffic on the drive down. For any of you that know me, you can imagine that with my excitement and two months of waiting for this day, I was a handful for Joe to deal with as we inched our way closer to San Diego. I kept looking at our navigation system's screen as it ticked away the minutes to our arrival at the destination. By the time it showed an arrival time of 1:58 pm... nearly an hour after the potluck was to begin, I was near tears. As I've said before, I've never been very patient and to me, every minute we were missing was one less minute spent at the potluck. Before long, we were so desperate that we hopped off the freeway (in the middle of nowhere in between Orange County and San Diego where there is nothing around but open land and one road that is part of Camp Pendleton), and we thankfully took advantage of having military id's. After we zipped through security, we were cruising. Now we were smokin'; 35 mph feels fast enough to take the wrinkles out after such a dramatic slow down on the freeway. Since we were now driving on a small and winding road through Camp Pendleton that more or less paralleled the freeway, we really had to follow the speed limit to avoid a ticket from the MP's (military police). Apparently they don't have enough to do so speeding tickets are the highlight of an MP's day.
By 2:00 pm we had arrived at our destination. The party had begun and a sign on the front door told visitors to go ahead and enter. We shyly made our way towards the action out back and met the hostess. My eyes filled with the sights and sounds of kids splashing in the beautiful pool surrounded by rock walls and an attached hot tub. Teenagers, babies, toddlers, you name it, they were there. I think in total that day there were said to be about 70 people in attendance. My attention quickly became rapt as we admired the littlest members of the crowd, taking in their smiles and giggles. One little doll grabbed my finger while in her daddy's arms and wouldn't let go. She was too cute for words.
Although the children had quickly caught our focus, we did turn it to talking to the parents and future parents in the crowd. We met a wonderful couple that lives up near my uncle and are currently awaiting their referral for siblings. We swapped stories, discussed agencies, various decisions that have to be made, and enjoyed some fabulous Ethiopian food. We asked so many questions of the parents that have already got their kids home from Ethiopia, and were thrilled about the support they showed us when we told them about the difficulty our age has posed for us. They rallied around us and our decision to do this, despite our young age, and many offered to help in any way they could. My heart felt like it was going to explode with excitement and thanks. They answered all sorts of questions ranging from reasons for choosing the agency they worked with to how they decided on the age and number of children they adopted.
As the afternoon wound down and people began to say goodbye, Joe and I reluctantly made our way toward the door. The day was filled with smiles, laughter, and truckloads of information. By the time we climbed in the car, Joe looked at me and confirmed with me something very exciting. We have been waiting to feel more certain before posting this update, so please start the drum roll.... after MUCH deliberation, Joe and I are planning on adopting twins or siblings rather than just one infant. **PAUSE** Yes, you read that correctly. We are now planning on starting the adoption process with the intention of adopting twins, or possibly siblings. We are still working on deciding on that one, or maybe we'll leave it open and see what we're referred. This may be something we discuss more with the social worker that does our homestudy before we make a final decision. I have talked it over at length with the social worker with Adoption Avenues and she seems to feel strongly supportive of this choice.
Now, you may just be sitting there wondering "What in the heck are they thinking?!" Believe me, when this idea started going through my mind, I started questioning my sanity as well. But after considering it for about two or three months now, not only do I feel comfortable with the logic behind what my heart it telling me, but Joe has also come to agree with me. Before I begin the attempt at explaining our reasons, I want to cover an important issue that surrounds our adoption. Race, ethnicity, skin color. Yes, we are adopting transculturally. And not just transculturally, but transracially. Since it's an important aspect of our adoption, I need to cover some important ground about this issue that so many people are interested in understanding our position on. You'll probably hear many different opinions on the matter from different transcultural/transracial adoptive families you talk to, and our own feelings will undoubtedly evolve as the process unfolds. This can be such a touchy subject in our society that it's been a struggle for us to know how to handle. So, I'll tackle this one like Joe. Blunt and to the point. Joe and I are Caucasian. We are white... blond hair, blue eyes, and very light colored skin. Our baby(ies) will not have that in common with us. They will have black/brown/dark skin, likely dark brown eyes, and curly black/brown hair. By doing this, we will be creating a family that is transracial. More importantly (and appropriately), transcultural. Our family will grow and be able to add the long and very rich history of Ethiopia to it. Our children may not look just like us, that is part of what will make our family so special and beautiful. Joe and I feel "colorblind" in a sense, but realize that in order to fully support and care for our children, we cannot be completely colorblind. It would be an injustice to our future children. We want them to know everything they can about their Ethiopian roots and have a strong pride in their culture and history. Ethiopia is an amazing country, filled with amazing people. We would never take that away from our children. Both Joe and myself feel that it is a blessing in every sense of the word to be privileged to have a transcultural/transracial family.
That being said, I'll get back to our feelings about adopting two rather than one. We want our child to have the comfort of growing up with a sibling that looks like them and shares a similar history. When they get old enough to start realizing that they don't look like mommy and daddy, I want them to be able to have that commonality with their brother/sister. When they are struggling with issues surrounding their adoption, I want them to have the support and closeness of a sibling that has that in common. Joe and I will always do our best to show them that we love them unconditionally and embrace their culture, history and beautiful dark skin, but it's not the same as having a sibling they can share that with. Someone that looks like them and share a similar life story.
We've thought about doing two separate adoptions, from Ethiopia, but don't feel that's the right decision for us. Adoptions are long, stressful, emotionally, physically, and financially draining. Getting our kids at the same time will allow us to work through the transition at once instead of two separate times. It also means our kids will have a playmate from the get-go, which is nice for the entire family. They will get to have each other as they go through the process of adjusting to life in our family and grow up together with that special bond.
None of this is to say that there's anything wrong with adopting just one child. Or doing separate adoptions. I'm just attempting to explain our own personal feelings on what works best for us. Since it's so late here, I also hope this reads how it's supposed to. Sometimes thoughts and feelings can be so hard to put on paper and still make sense. Nothing is set in stone yet... it'll be a long while yet before we get our referral and until we have the referral, get through court, and travel to Ethiopia to bring our little angels home, everything is an uncertainty. But, until the stork tells us what he's bringing, you can expect it'll be twins!!! I've always dreamed of being a mommy to twins... as crazy and difficult as I am sure it can/will be on some days, the amazing bond they share and joy they will add to our lives will be well worth it!
The final announcement I have for tonight is that my mom has finally moved to California!!! Surprise! I can't even begin to tell you all how happy that makes me! She flew out here last Tuesday and started work on Wednesday, November 29. We convinced her to stay with us since dad is stuck in Colorado finishing a few projects around the house before he can list it for sale. In the meantime, we're doing our best to send him our love and talk lots on the phone! He's the only one left in Colorado now! I hope that the house sells quickly once they list it in the spring, but with the way the housing market's been so slow... it may be a while before dad can get out here to join mom. So, despite the fact that I am so sad dad isn't out here with mom, I am overjoyed to have her around to spend time with again. You can only imagine how big I've been grinning lately with all the exciting changes happening!
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