Baby Crap... I mean Baby Gap

Hmm.  Maybe that's not such a nice thing to call this post.  Besides, I'm not really sure who's to blame for the morning's insanity, but as far as I'm concerned... 

Let me start at the beginning.  On Tuesday Olivia and Ezra were asked to audition for Baby Gap's Spring 2009 ads.  I agreed - so long as both kidlets were healthy by the audition today.  We were given an appointment time of 11:35 am, and the kids had been ASKED to come based on a photo Gap had already seen of them.  

Ok.  Los Angeles, Friday, 11:35 am.  Got it.

This morning begins:

7:00 am   Feed hungry babies

7:30 am   Run around house preparing stuff needed to take for audition (bottles, food, diapers, clothes, etc.)  Pretend you don't hear two screaming mimi's begging for attention and climbing up your legs every time you pass through the room.

8:30 am   Allow crazy babies to climb all over you for a half an hour like their own personal jungle gym.  Prevent as many poking of the eyes and hair pulling between the two of them as possible.

9:00 am Lay babies down for a brief nap before departure.  Load car with baby gear while babies are sleeping.

9:30 am Wake peacefully sleeping babies to change diapers, dress, and load into cars.

10:00 - 11:15 am  Drive to Los Angeles

11:15 - 11:30 am  Search desperately for a parking spot in very crowded area.  Watch out.  Don't run over toddlers and parents holding babies & pushing strollers.  They're everywhere.  Breathe.  This is going to be a bit nuts... there's quite a crowd at the studio.

11:30 am QUICKLY load babies into stroller/ergo.  Grab diaper bag.  Oops.  Run back, lock car.  Cross busy street with no light or crosswalk.  Run 3 blocks down broken up sidewalk with stroller frequently getting stuck in holes and crevices.

11:35 am Arrive at studio RIGHT ON TIME.  Long line coming out of front door of building.  Huh.  Stand in line.  Begin chatting with other parents.  Learn that some parents were told to arrive during a "window" of time - somewhere in a two hour gap.  No appointment.  Huh again.  Ask parents exiting building how long they have been there.  1 hour +.  Ugh.

12:10 pm Move Ezra from back position in Ergo to front position.  Stop starving babies and mix two bottles.  Hold bottle in Ezra's mouth by pinching it between chin and chest.  Stoop over and hold Olivia's bottle in one hand while pushing stroller with other hand.  Get many stares from people.  Begin realizing most OTHER babies have 2 adults to cater to their needs.  Hmm.  Realize you are the ONLY parent with two babies and no help.  Gulp.  Sigh.  Sorry Ezi & Livi.

12:40 pm Arrive at check in desk.  Ask about appointments vs. window to arrive.  Told some agencies blew it and gave out windows' rather than clients' assigned arrival time.  Grr.  Fill out two sheets of paper with E&O's info on it.  Begin wait for our numbers to be called (63 & 64).  Force way into the crowd of people.  Begin standing shoulder to shoulder.  No more than 6 inches in any direction to next person.  Hot, stuffy, fun.

1:00 pm Begin feeling tired and impatient.  Ask someone what number they are on. They are now calling number 15.  Oi.  Hum and sing to Ezra while holding squirming Olivia on hip.  Hum loudly enough to have Ezi hear me over the drone of babies squawking, screaming, and toddlers talking.  Succeed.  Get Ezra to sleep.  Somehow keep Olivia from crying.

1:30 pm Our numbers are called!  Hallelujah!  Force way to front where babies will be photographed for "audition."  Wake Ezra who had FINALLY fallen asleep in Ergo so he'd be ready for his close up.

1:40 pm Plop Ezra onto white, paper ground in front of photographer.  Smile at his cute, sleepy, open mouthed, blank stare at photographer.  What a trooper.

1:41 pm Put Ezra in stroller and plop Olivia on ground in front of photographer. Nope, try again.  Olivia, stop crawling away!  Plop her down on her toosh again.  Hold her down.  Sing songs.  Beg her.  Just wants to crawl away. Photographer keeps getting shots of the top of her head as she attempts to get free from further constraint and lack of movement.  Get one shot of her face on - crying now.  Beg photographer for one more chance.  Please.  Let me try another toy... Nope. Our turn is over.  Ok.  Let's go home.

1:45 pm Leave chaos.  Breathe "fresh" air.  (Is the air outside in LA fresh?)

2:00 pm Force kids into car seats.  More constraints.  Not happy babies.  Give another bottle.  Ok, that's better.  Load car.  Down a bottle of tea.  Whew.  We did it. Drive home in traffic since audition took so long.

Yep.  That's our day.  And therefore, why in my current state I'm now calling it Baby Crap.  You'd think that after all these years they'd have the auditions down.  I'm not sure if Gap was organizing it, or the studio we were at, but it was a zoo.  One agency that was part of why the schedule was so screwed up will no longer be used by Gap.  Ezra and Olivia were such troopers.  Made me proud.  Just wish Livi had been able to sit patiently for one SECOND in front of the camera to make it worthwhile for her.  Oh well.  Guess they could still end up getting a call back... but I'm NOT holding my breath!

All whining aside, I really am proud of the kids and think it would be so cool if they were called back.  What fun for them to get to be in the Spring 2009 Baby Gap advertisements!  I sure would enjoy seeing their beautiful little faces light up the photos.  

Better run.  Von's grocery delivery guy just arrived!  Yep... I'm that lazy right now, I ordered my groceries online!  So cool!