Something to read... a true MUST READ!

Life can be so ironic sometimes.  I used to feel so much more literate and eloquent.  I recently felt called to action by some posts on an agency specific adoption group I'm a part of.  I felt I HAD to attempt to provide some introspection and perspective on a PAP's (prospective adoptive parent) comments about adopting to "save" a child.

Ironic to me that I have now seen a post on a much more eloquent and amazing mama's blog... thank you Julie  Please take a few minutes to go to Julie's blog and read her post.  Is adoption selfish.  Yes.  It IS.  Is adoption the ANSWER to the problem of poverty.  No.  Not even close.  Yes, it can change the life of the child you adopt... but think about those left behind.  Think about how radically you are changing your child's life by adopting them... for better AND for worse.  Should we adopt to "save" a child?  That's for you to decide... but I truly and deeply believe that one's motives should not revolve around that concept as the primary motivating factor.  There are too many other incredible ways to help try and make a difference for the children of the country you are adopting from to adopt because you feel called to "save" a child.

Really.  Please.  No hate here.  No backlash comments.  Just consider what I'm trying to say.  Think deeply... all AP's need to do this.  If you aren't willing to question yourself, your motives, and the life you will provide for your adopted child(ren), you really shouldn't be adopting.  As AP's (adoptive parents) we really must take it upon ourselves to see the bigger picture!

Thank you Julie.  Your eloquence gets across the very point I recently tried to make but failed to TRULY get across.  Thank you.  :-D

COLORADO

We are HERE.  Somehow, we made it.  It was a whirlwind up until the moment I put the kids in the car to go to the airport.  I can only imagine the craziness that's been taking place at our old house after our departure to get stuff loaded into the trailer, finalize packing, and get the dogs loaded up to get here.  Joe and my dad had the fun task of doing that... and are hopefully on the road to us here in Colorado as of this morning!  Fingers crossed, please!

The flight here was GREAT.  The kids did so well.  Ezra was a cranky little man when we first sat down and he saw me sitting with Olivia across the aisle, so I traded with mom and held him for a while and that seems to be just what he wanted.  He has truly become a momma's boy overnight.  I first noticed it this past week, but I'm sure it was more noticeable since I was so busy running around and packing while he was left to play with his sister and Tia Claudia or Uncle Marty.  He'd be relatively content, and then he'd see me coming or going and start screaming.  It's pretty cute, even if it does make things a bit more challenging while getting ready to move.  He was even worse when he'd see Joe.  Normally Joe plays with them from the time he gets home until they go to bed... so all the evenings spent packing and preparing this week and over last weekend sent Ezra into a furious fit when he saw his daddy come or go.  Livi is much the same, just less dramatic and insistent.  

When we arrived at DIA we did quick diaper changes on the kiddos and then zoomed to baggage claim.  My bag was already waiting on the carousel and we grabbed it and started for the car.... and then my mom reminded me about our car seats.  We had checked our nearly brand new (used only 2 times so far I think) Britax Marathon car seats.  Yikes!  I ran back to the over sized baggage area to try and find them.  No go.  I waited and watched a while, but still nothing.  I asked a baggage employee and he began looking into it.  Long story short, they were missing.  Ugh.  We filed a claim and I was ushered to a back room to select suitable loaner seats.  Uh huh.  A bit of a challenge when the only car seats they have are infant car seats (which the kids outgrew a good month ago) or forward facing car seats (which they aren't big enough or old enough for yet). 

I tried explaining the dilemma to the woman at the baggage counter, but she kept arguing that they could go in the infant seats.  I explained the reasons they couldn't be put in those, but she persisted.  We had to talk to a couple of supervisors before we made any progress.  In the meantime the original guy we spoke to about our missing car seats asked if he could buy us lunch since he felt so badly about it all.  The kids were totally zoned out, strapped to my mom and I in the Ergo's.  I thanked him, but declined since we needed to get the kids home and get THEM fed... and trying to find some sort of table food they could manage to eat at the airport was something I hoped to avoid.

About two hours after our plane landed, a woman with the airline took me over to the Delta baggage area.  She said she wanted me to see if they had what we needed before she went to buy the convertible car seats we needed.  You know what?  They DID!  At least 5 or 6 of them!  I snagged two, thanked the Delta guy, and we rushed out to the car.  After some fiddling, we got the car seats in the car, babies loaded, and were on our way home.  I sat in the back seat, feeding Ezi & Livi a late lunch and wishing away a migraine that had moved in and made itself comfortable in my brain during the whole snaffu.  Thankfully, they were hungry and ate like champs so I was able to move to the front seat and recover from the car sickness, take some medicine and even get most of the migraine eased away.  By the time we hit home, I was feeling MUCH better.  

Ezi and Livi are having a blast here and loving all the space.  They are so smily and cute.  We haven't been outside much since I packed so lightly for the plane and the weather's a bit cold for the clothes I have (for myself... I have layers for the kiddos ;-).  Shorts and flip flops just doesn't do it for me on 50 degree days anymore... I truly have lost my hardened Colorado blood!  Nothin' but a wimpy So Cal transplant for the moment.  Mom even had to turn on the furnace for me!  :-D

I'd better run.  We're off to a consignment sale this morning (baby/kid stuff galore) to look for a playhouse for the kids, amongst other goodies.  Then, we are loading up on fun stuff to send my brother for his birthday next month!  You have to plan in advance when mail takes so long reach the recipient!  I imagine it'll be getting pretty cold in Afghanistan by then... so I'll pack a nice, snuggly blanket with the kids picture on it or something saying "We love you Uncle Captain Z!"  Oh yeah, he'd love that!  ;-)

We are soooo looking forward to seeing Michael and Julia (and maybe meeting Brad this time?) again soon, and getting to know others from the Colorado Ethiopian adoption group.  We already miss our SoCal Ethiopia Adopt and OCEAN friends... stay in touch!  We will visit when we can!  Feel free to come to Colorado and see us anytime!  :-D

Procrastination

"Procrastination is a type of behavior which is characterized by deferment of actions or tasks to a later time.  Psychologists often cite procrastination as a mechanism for coping with the anxiety associated with starting or completing any task or decision.  Psychology researchers also have three criteria they use to categorize procrastination.  They believe that procrastination must be counterproductive, needless, and delaying.

For an individual, procrastination may result in stress, a sense of guilt, the loss of personal productivity, the creation of crisis and the disapproval of others for not fulfilling one's responsibilities or commitments.  These combined feelings can promote further procrastination.  While it is normal for people to procrastinate to some degree, it becomes a problem when it impedes normal functioning.  Chronic procrastination may be a sign of an underlying psychological or physiological disorder."   --- Wikipedia

Ok, yeah.  I'm guilty.  I am seriously procrastinating.  Considering that I am MOVING to another state next week, you'd think I'd be busy packing rather than blogging.  Alas, I just haven't been able to get myself to focus on the task at hand.  I HAVE gotten some boxes packed... just not as many as I should have by now.  :-(  So, now that I know I'm a chronic procrastinator, I guess I should be seeking professional help before it reaches the level of impeding my normal functioning.  Gulp.  

Anyone out there like to pack?  Wanna come pack up my house?  Or, you could come watch the ridiculously adorable duo so that I can actually pack.  Hmmm, there's a thought.  ;-)  I did get some help from the lovely, Tia Claudia, on Monday.  Poor thing drove down here from Long Beach to help me, after puking her guts out all day on Sunday from food poisoning!  She didn't tell me about it BEFORE she came down though... I'm not THAT selfish to let her come help after being so sick!  I did enjoy her company though, and got a lot more packed up during E&O's afternoon nap than I would have without her assistance.  Thanks Claudia!

Other than moving, things have been pretty low key.  Ezra has decided the easiest way to avoid eating something is to let the bite of food just sit in his mouth, mixing with saliva and liquefying until it all drools back out.  Let's just say that the last week has been a wee bit frustrating... I know the kid's got to be hungry!  He's taking his bottles just fine, and sometimes has a bite or two of food before deciding he won't eat it, what's up?!  I've tried all stages of baby food, table food, different flavors, etc.  If I push it and keep trying to give him food, he'll often give me a look of frustration and then throw up whatever he's eaten.  I'd be worried... but other than this he seems perfectly normal.  Any thoughts?!  I'm ready to poke my eyeballs out at this point!  It's a bummer too, because the new habit seems to be rubbing off on lil' miss Livi.  Oi!

Ok, lunch time for the peanuts!  Ta ta for now!

We're OUTTA here!

I don't know how else to say this, so I'll get to the point.  We're MOVING to Colorado.  There.  I said it.  No one can talk us out of it now, because the kids and I fly to Colorado with my mom on October 8 and Joe and my dad will be following with the dogs and my car and a trailer load of CRAP on Thursday evening.  Yikes.  It's a bittersweet feeling to get this news out there.

We wanted to tell each and everyone that we know and care about in person, but we haven't had the chance to yet.  We will be leaving behind relatives, friends, and some really lovely year-round weather!  But, we'll be moving to family, friends, SPACE, lower cost of living, snow days, snowball fights, sledding, FAMILY, space, friends, etc.  We'll be able to buy a house with a YARD - heck, maybe even a few acres.  Wow.  I COULD get a horse again - if I want to.  I had to sell my horses to move out here and I miss them, darn it.  But really, we're moving for the kids.  We want the kids to grow up in an environment where Joe doesn't have to work crazy, long hours to cover our bills, where they have room to run, clean air to breathe, LOADS of open spaces to hike, climb, bike, ski, or whatever in.  I want them to enjoy the thrill of waking up to a snow day and enjoying hot chocolate, playing in the snow, snuggling up inside by a fireplace and reading.  I want to see our fur kids running around and chasing rabbits, even though they have NO hope of ever catching one.  I want to FEEL like I can dress nicely and look good again - on a GOOD day in O.C. I look like the average woman here.  On a normal day - I look like a homeless bum next to the average person here.  Since moving to O.C. Joe and I have changed so much - some great stuff... some not so great.  We've both become more image conscious, drive expensive cars, and always want MORE.  We didn't used to be quite so needy and spoiled.  I don't think everyone here is like that, heck no.  But this is the land of plastic surgery, Hollywood, and detoxing.  Detoxing ALL THE STINKING TIME.  :-)  Ok, again, not everyone, just some people I know and love that think their bodies will never be clean and healthy enough.

Sorry.  Done rambling.  Joe will NOT be moving with the kids and I just yet.  He will continue to work here and fly to Colorado on the weekends.  We won't be seeing much less of him since he generally doesn't get home from work until the kids go to bed - or sometime after that.  The kids and I are leaving now because our house is so difficult to keep clean ENOUGH, tidy ENOUGH, and empty ENOUGH for all the showings we've been having.  It's nuts.  I'm constantly loading the kids into the stroller or the car, locking the dogs in the garage, clearing all the toys out of the downstairs, and getting ready for another showing.  Our life has been REVOLVING around them.  We have TWO offers now... so hopefully we'll get this place sold pretty quickly, but I don't want to count my chickens before they're hatched.  We've been down this road before and had the buyers back out two weeks before closing... so we need to get the chaos outta here.  I want the kids to have some stability, and mostly I want ME to have some sanity again.  I'm losing my mind!  I like clean and organized, but with two tornadoes and three fur balls - this is TOUGH.

Bleck.  This was painful.  I'm sorry to everyone we're "leaving behind."  We really do hope/plan to visit as much as possible.  We'll miss California.  And, we hope everyone will be able to come visit us in Colorado.  Seriously.  Please.  I'm begging.  I hate goodbyes.  I'm much to weak and sappy for that.  

On other fronts, we have had a few other things happening lately.  We had our first post placement visit (I know - it was WAY overdue... I'm sorry everyone!).  It was a breeze, and pretty wild to see our social worker for the first time since she completed our home visit and wrote our homestudy for us.  The kids were in happy, wonderful moods and it lasted about an entire 15 minutes or so.  She was amazed at how well they're doing and how smoothly things are going.  I was like, "Yeah, we're just such awesome parents, ya know.  How could things not be going so perfectly?  Duh!"  Ok, maybe I didn't say that.  I know it's really got something to do with how incredible Ezi and Livi are, and that's just about impossible to take credit for.  We are blessed with the two most incredible little miracle babies ever.  And trust me, it's not like I'm biased here.  ;-)

Then, the next bit of excitement was that Oli and Ezi had their 9-month birthday.  At nine months, we are truly awed at what our little Einsteins are doing.  I know as parents we're all impressed by what our babies do, but ours ARE amazing.  :-D  Ezra can now stand on his own (without holding ANYTHING) for a few seconds before losing his balance.  They climb all over everything.  Walking is on the horizon... gulp.  I think Olivia's working on her first word too... but that's still a bit hard to say for sure.  There have been a few times that she's said "Baaa" while holding a ball.  Just a short, sweet "Baaa" with no other babbling.  She also chased Joe down the hallway and shouted "Dada" but I don't know if it was just babble or not.  Probably babble.  But still.  They're brilliant.

Oh, and here's something to make you all laugh.  I was zooming around trying to get the 3 of us ready to leave the house the other day.  The kids were fed, diapered, dressed and ready to go.  I just had to slap some makeup on my face so I didn't look like walking death.  I bolted up the stairs and spent a whopping 2 minutes doing my makeup.  I heard a little screech out of Chloe, but nothing more.  When I came zipping back down the stairs, what I saw stopped me in my tracks.  My precious little Olivia was sitting in "the mosh pit" (what we call this big, huge square section of our couch) and was surrounded by Chloe's dog food.  She had a fistful in each hand and was as happy as a lark.  Chloe, on the other hand, was huddled in the corner of the mosh pit, skulking.  Olivia had crawled up the doggie steps (small steps onto the couch for Chloe and Cooper).  Yikes.  

I couldn't believe I left the steps down without me being in the room.  Stellar parenting, I know.  She's climbed the steps one other time (while I was there), and I've been working hard on teaching her what happens when you crawl off the edge.  She's learned to NOT crawl off the edge... but still.  Ugh.  Poor Chloe was so bummed about her food getting swiped.  She's been so sick again lately which is the only reason her food was left up there for her to nibble on.  You better bet I cleaned Livi's hands off and checked her mouth for any little treats.  Ready for the next test, Livi girl!  You taught me.

So yep.  This is the house of learning these days.  Kiddos learning, mommies learning, everyone's learning something these days.  :-)

Ok, time to end this post and get the NEWS out there.  :-)

Baby Crap... I mean Baby Gap

Hmm.  Maybe that's not such a nice thing to call this post.  Besides, I'm not really sure who's to blame for the morning's insanity, but as far as I'm concerned... 

Let me start at the beginning.  On Tuesday Olivia and Ezra were asked to audition for Baby Gap's Spring 2009 ads.  I agreed - so long as both kidlets were healthy by the audition today.  We were given an appointment time of 11:35 am, and the kids had been ASKED to come based on a photo Gap had already seen of them.  

Ok.  Los Angeles, Friday, 11:35 am.  Got it.

This morning begins:

7:00 am   Feed hungry babies

7:30 am   Run around house preparing stuff needed to take for audition (bottles, food, diapers, clothes, etc.)  Pretend you don't hear two screaming mimi's begging for attention and climbing up your legs every time you pass through the room.

8:30 am   Allow crazy babies to climb all over you for a half an hour like their own personal jungle gym.  Prevent as many poking of the eyes and hair pulling between the two of them as possible.

9:00 am Lay babies down for a brief nap before departure.  Load car with baby gear while babies are sleeping.

9:30 am Wake peacefully sleeping babies to change diapers, dress, and load into cars.

10:00 - 11:15 am  Drive to Los Angeles

11:15 - 11:30 am  Search desperately for a parking spot in very crowded area.  Watch out.  Don't run over toddlers and parents holding babies & pushing strollers.  They're everywhere.  Breathe.  This is going to be a bit nuts... there's quite a crowd at the studio.

11:30 am QUICKLY load babies into stroller/ergo.  Grab diaper bag.  Oops.  Run back, lock car.  Cross busy street with no light or crosswalk.  Run 3 blocks down broken up sidewalk with stroller frequently getting stuck in holes and crevices.

11:35 am Arrive at studio RIGHT ON TIME.  Long line coming out of front door of building.  Huh.  Stand in line.  Begin chatting with other parents.  Learn that some parents were told to arrive during a "window" of time - somewhere in a two hour gap.  No appointment.  Huh again.  Ask parents exiting building how long they have been there.  1 hour +.  Ugh.

12:10 pm Move Ezra from back position in Ergo to front position.  Stop starving babies and mix two bottles.  Hold bottle in Ezra's mouth by pinching it between chin and chest.  Stoop over and hold Olivia's bottle in one hand while pushing stroller with other hand.  Get many stares from people.  Begin realizing most OTHER babies have 2 adults to cater to their needs.  Hmm.  Realize you are the ONLY parent with two babies and no help.  Gulp.  Sigh.  Sorry Ezi & Livi.

12:40 pm Arrive at check in desk.  Ask about appointments vs. window to arrive.  Told some agencies blew it and gave out windows' rather than clients' assigned arrival time.  Grr.  Fill out two sheets of paper with E&O's info on it.  Begin wait for our numbers to be called (63 & 64).  Force way into the crowd of people.  Begin standing shoulder to shoulder.  No more than 6 inches in any direction to next person.  Hot, stuffy, fun.

1:00 pm Begin feeling tired and impatient.  Ask someone what number they are on. They are now calling number 15.  Oi.  Hum and sing to Ezra while holding squirming Olivia on hip.  Hum loudly enough to have Ezi hear me over the drone of babies squawking, screaming, and toddlers talking.  Succeed.  Get Ezra to sleep.  Somehow keep Olivia from crying.

1:30 pm Our numbers are called!  Hallelujah!  Force way to front where babies will be photographed for "audition."  Wake Ezra who had FINALLY fallen asleep in Ergo so he'd be ready for his close up.

1:40 pm Plop Ezra onto white, paper ground in front of photographer.  Smile at his cute, sleepy, open mouthed, blank stare at photographer.  What a trooper.

1:41 pm Put Ezra in stroller and plop Olivia on ground in front of photographer. Nope, try again.  Olivia, stop crawling away!  Plop her down on her toosh again.  Hold her down.  Sing songs.  Beg her.  Just wants to crawl away. Photographer keeps getting shots of the top of her head as she attempts to get free from further constraint and lack of movement.  Get one shot of her face on - crying now.  Beg photographer for one more chance.  Please.  Let me try another toy... Nope. Our turn is over.  Ok.  Let's go home.

1:45 pm Leave chaos.  Breathe "fresh" air.  (Is the air outside in LA fresh?)

2:00 pm Force kids into car seats.  More constraints.  Not happy babies.  Give another bottle.  Ok, that's better.  Load car.  Down a bottle of tea.  Whew.  We did it. Drive home in traffic since audition took so long.

Yep.  That's our day.  And therefore, why in my current state I'm now calling it Baby Crap.  You'd think that after all these years they'd have the auditions down.  I'm not sure if Gap was organizing it, or the studio we were at, but it was a zoo.  One agency that was part of why the schedule was so screwed up will no longer be used by Gap.  Ezra and Olivia were such troopers.  Made me proud.  Just wish Livi had been able to sit patiently for one SECOND in front of the camera to make it worthwhile for her.  Oh well.  Guess they could still end up getting a call back... but I'm NOT holding my breath!

All whining aside, I really am proud of the kids and think it would be so cool if they were called back.  What fun for them to get to be in the Spring 2009 Baby Gap advertisements!  I sure would enjoy seeing their beautiful little faces light up the photos.  

Better run.  Von's grocery delivery guy just arrived!  Yep... I'm that lazy right now, I ordered my groceries online!  So cool!

The newest MUST HAVE accessory...

My fantastic, amazing, uber-cool and creative blogging buddy, Tara is now open to the public!  She's hand-crafting fabulous leather cuffs for babies, kids, and adults!  They are so stinkin' cool... I can't wait to get mine!

You MUST go check them out.  They really are the accessory to have, and are priced really well!  Go.  Now.  Buy a bunch.  Christmas is just around the corner... keep that in mind!  

These cool cuffs are available on Tara's Etsy site.  daisytara.etsy.com

Handsome Malak, Tara's son, sporting a cuff

Cuteness overload

"Off with his head!!!"

Did you miss me?

Sorry we haven't gotten updates out lately, mom's been lazy (or busy?)

Uncle Brett, do you know what we've been up to?

Oh finally, mom's going to post about our trip!

Whew.  I really meant to post an update prior to this.  Things have been a little crazy since we got home, and I seem to have acquired the desire to be desperately lazy.  Hmm.  Maybe it was the two weeks without Joe with E&O... not sure.  Or maybe it was the cold that Joe had when we got home on Thursday and now Ezra and I are both enjoying the effects of catching the cold.  Ugh.

Anyhoo, I should start at the beginning.  On August 22 we arrived in Denver at about 11:15 pm.  We'd lucked into extra seats on the flight, so Ezra and Olivia got to enjoy sitting in their OWN seat in their car seats.  Both fell asleep for a little while at the end, but Olivia was awake again the second we landed.  Ezra, thankfully, slept through the landing, getting off the plane, and the whole reunion with my sister in baggage claim.

My sister is all grown up!  Wow.  I obviously knew she would be older and more grown up, but seeing her as an "adult" was still a shocker.  Somewhere deep inside her eyes I still saw a familiarity, but otherwise she was so different!  She's turned into a beautiful young lady that really seems to know what she's after.  Well, sort of.  Anyway, our airport reunion was nice, but brief.  My dad was there to take Joe, myself and the kids home, and my two sisters (one of whom I was reunited with 4 years ago - my sisters are bio sisters) and one of their bio brothers headed off to get reacquainted at S's home.

The next day, S & J drove up to my parent's place and spent the day visiting with us.  We had a great time getting to know each other again, and rounded out the evening with a ridiculously humiliating home video extravaganza.  I was the oldest sister, and definitely dug the leader role.  S & J really had to endure a lot with me, I tell ya.  We were all in dance, and I enjoyed (with a little of their help) coming up with recitals and such at home.  Oh yeah, we were the bomb.  I had one song I wrote about my hampster (that had died) and how I wished it would come back to me... yadada yadada.  We had this Christmas show with a program and everything... there was only, oh, 40 songs on the list... most of which were songs I'd made up.  

Ok, back to the topic.  We watched videos, laughed at ourselves, cried, talked, answered tough questions, etc.  S has been feeling sick for quite some time now and has dramatically dropped weight in the last 6 months.  Scary skinny.  We talked with Joe's mom, a Dr., and asked about some things that concerned us since part of the day S was laid up in bed away from the festivities.  J and I discussed our concerns with each other, but agreed we didn't want to get into talking about it with S yet.  J knew her and S weren't close enough for her to mention it, and I felt I needed to talk to S at the "right" time... which wasn't that day.  :-S  That night, the girls drove back to S's house about 10:00pm.  Apparently, the drive home is where the real DRAMA of the weekend began.  

Drama, you ask? Yes.  Drama.  I am a totally old, mommified bore and was out cold (sleeping) by the time my phone rang at 11:13pm.  S was freaking out and telling me there was a problem with J.  Huh?  The problem was that J wanted a beer and some time to chill out on S's porch by herself and process the crazy amount of things that were happening to her (learning more about her past, seeing her old family members after 15 years, you know... stuff).  S was worried that J was an alcoholic since she'd ALSO had a drink the night before, so she wouldn't take her to the store to buy a beer.  That's when J walked off to be alone.  That was the problem - in brief.  

I spent the next half an hour talking to each one as they handed the phone back and forth.  J had also upset S by confronting her on the sensitive health issues, so S was mad at J, J was mad at S, etc.  Neither one thought they should stay at the same 1 bedroom apartment anymore, so S asked if J could come stay at my parent's house.  I told her I'd ask my parent's since it was THEIR house and that it was late, couldn't we change the housing situation the next day?  Finally, they agreed to leave each other alone and get some sleep.

Early the next morning they arrived, ready to pull me off to the side and get their side of the story in.  We ended up spending the morning on my parent's deck having a "pow-wow."  Mom, S, J, and myself.  Things were smoothed over and both agreed that some overreacting was happening to to the high level of emotions relating to being reunited.  There was a little too much forcing of the "getting to know" EVERYTHING about each other going on.  J was going to stay with us at my parents, and they could give each other space.

Well, soon after, J asked if she could invite her ex-boyfriends' parents up to meet us as she was very close to them.  We agreed and soon they were on their way up.  The visit was brief and J decided she was going to go spend a night with them... which ended up being the rest of the time we were in Colorado.  Gulp.  I hope she does not disappear on us again, but I know it was a lot to take in.  I'm sure once she gets done with basic training and returns to Colorado she'll be ready to visit again.  I hope things go more smoothly next time, but was not altogether surprised that there were some... hiccups.  :-)

While in Berthoud, we greatly enjoyed meeting the infamous Julia and Michael!  It was so neat to see them in person, as I've followed their adoptive journey since the middle of last year, prior to their referral.  Michael was so cute, and incredibly generous to allow Ezra to cling to his mommy so much and use her as a jungle gym.  The three of them got along well, and the play date was a lot of fun.  I look forward to many more fun get togethers in the future!

So, that's THAT visit.  On Wednesday (August 27) my parent's, E&O and I were off to Chicago.  Joe flew home on Sunday since he had to work.  We spent the next 4 days enjoying the company of my aunt (mom's sister), uncle, cousins, and my cousins' 3 month old, Luke.  It was a bittersweet visit, as my aunt has been battling with cancer for seven and a half years.  She's fought an incredible battle and I admire her strength and courage through it all.  She has been a first grade teacher for years, but was unable to return this year, which is such a loss for those students that would have been in her class... she's an amazing woman.  She was so delighted with Ezra and Olivia, and showered them with some cool gifts - my favorite of which was some great books and the stuffed animals that go with them.  

Please keep my Aunt Patti in your thoughts and prayers.  This past Tuesday she went in for her final round of chemo before her next scan to see how effective it's been.  She has a mass in her chest that makes it very hard to breathe, and I pray for her breath to come easier and her pain to be lessened.  I am so proud and thankful to have such incredible cousins that take such amazing care of their mama.  It's hard to be so far away and to be able to do so little.  I am so thankful that her husband, my Uncle Al, is so strong and has been able to hold her up and help her fight through this.  The strength in their family makes me proud.  I love them all endlessly and wish our visit had been under happier circumstances.  Robin (I'm guessing you'll read this), please give Aunt Patti more love, hugs, and kisses from myself, Joe, Ezra and Olivia and tell her she's always in our thoughts and prayers.  It meant the world to me to get to have those precious days in their house enjoying the delicious treats, yummy food, and fun conversations.

While in Chicago we also got to see my Uncle Steve (my mom's brother) and my grandpa (my mom's dad).  It's been a while, and it was such a joy to show off E&O to them all.  My grandpa also has been struggling again with his heart, and apparently the valve that was replaced last year is beginning to leak again.  I wish there was something I could do to help get THAT fixed for him!  I'm sure another heart surgery does NOT sound like something he'd be too interested in at this point. 

Luke was so cute and much smaller than he looked in his more recent photos we'd seen prior to meeting him.  He looks so much like my cousin (his dad) did as a baby.  He also has this adorable, pouty lip thing he does where he sucks in his lower lip and it sort of quivers.  Totally cute.  It's funny to see him... a tiny bit bigger weight wise that Ezra was at homecoming, about a pound and a half bigger than Olivia and imagine them like that again.  They change so quickly, and yet seeing them every day it is hard to realize how much they have grown.  This was E&O's first time around a smaller baby... they've ALWAYS been the smallest in the group.  It was neat, and funny, to see them looking like the gargantuan babies.  Sadly, since Luke isn't old enough for any baby proofing to need to be done at my Aunt's house yet, it also meant 4 days of E&O going NUTS trying to grab everything in sight and not be able to crawl more than 3 feet in any direction without being turned around or picked up.  

Oh, and as for sleep.  Huh.  So much for being able to show off my good sleepers!  Poor Olivia and Ezra had been taken from home, to Colorado, to Chicago, back to Colorado, and then home.  They did sort of OK in Colorado sleeping (a few fairly minor night awakenings), fairly catastrophic in Chicago (they are somewhat light sleepers and were supposed to be sleeping in the room that adjoined the area of main activity - aka LOTS of noise! :-), back to decent in Colorado, and at home... almost PERFECT again.  Phew.  It was pretty much terrifying to watch them spiral into such an awful sleep pattern - I was sure we were doomed to a long time trying to get them back on schedule.  But, turns out, a sleeping pill or two knocks them right out!  KIDDING!  Seriously, no drugs needed, they were so happy to be home!

Overall, I think the kids were troopers.  Their world was flipped upside down, they were forced to sleep in strange places, spent LOTS of time in the PeaPods, and missed their daddy for almost two weeks.  I'm sure we were a bit of a tornado and looked like chaos to all my relatives, but considering the changes they went through, I guess I am impressed with how they did.  The toughest part for me was that for a couple of days in Chicago they began giving me some reasons for attachment concerns.  They'd start crying and crawl to ANYONE but me.  Totally NOT normal for them.  They'd even push me away a bit when I'd try to soothe them... which was an emotional blow on top of all the emotions I was already facing with my aunt's health, grandpa's health, and the drama with the reunion with J.  

I was not the most easy going person by the end of the weekend, I'm sure.  It's hard because I don't want to always "force" information on people, but know that outside of the adoptive realm, very few people know about attachment, bonding, and how important these issues can be with adoption.  Not everyone will have serious issues, but I feel it's about being proactive.  Ezi & Livi came home at a VERY early age.  According to the International Adoption pediatrician we saw that means they really shouldn't have too many issues with attachment and bonding since that tends to be more of an issue for babies/children older than 6 months.  BUT, it's still about being proactive.  Only Joe and I feed the kids (except for an exception here or there), we try to be the ones that always diaper them, lay them down for nap/bed, get them up, etc.  If they need to be soothed, we are the ONLY ones to do so, unless they are being watched by someone else while I shower or something.  This seems to be something that's hard to understand for people, so I spent a lot of effort trying to downplay how HUGE that is in my focus and running around double time to ensure I could handle the care of both of them without it seeming like someone needed to step in and lend a hand.

Does that make any sense?  Hard to explain... but it was exhausting.  I really am no super woman, and was so tired by the time we finally got HOME this past Thursday.  Thankfully, once in our own environment again they seem to be coming to me for comfort again (well... there's no one else around during the day again, I guess ;-) and I think they've fallen quickly back into their rhythm.  I am SOOOO glad we worked so hard and did "sleep training" early on.  I have no idea how I'd remain sane if life was that chaotic and out of whack for more than 2 weeks!  Now, if only Ezra and I didn't have colds.... boohoo!

Saturday was kept exciting by a visit from our neighbor, Stephanie.  She came running over while Joe was home with two napping cuties and I was out getting groceries with my mom.  Our neighbor needed a hero, but Joe couldn't leave the house.  As soon as we got home, Joe grabbed me and started to fill me in as we ran over to Stephanie's house.  They had a rattlesnake hanging out in their backyard, which was a serious threat to their three small dogs (fellow mini dachshund family!).  Stephanie grabbed a big shovel, handed it to Joe, and we began searching for where the snake had gone.  Upon locating it, I egged Joe on since he's a bit of a snake wimp.  Not that I'm not, but I knew he wouldn't go through with it without some assistance.  ;-)  After a little prodding, the shovel went squishing down through the snake's neck, crunching as it went.  Ewwww.  I covered my eyes and ran away; I've seen enough snake gore from living in the country along the foothills of the Rocky Mountains.  Joe chopped off it's head and saved the day!  Poor snake was definitely chillin' in the wrong place, that's for sure.  Sorry dude!

Oh, and one last bit of info.  Chloe (my super cool mini dachshund that has enough attitude to fill the entire state of California) had a checkup with her neurologist, Dr. Berry today.  I loaded her and the kids up and headed in to see the super cool, South African neurologist that saved Chloe's life early last November.  We have been able to reduce her Cyclosporine levels quite a bit over the last two months - a slow weaning process to see if her body can handle it without her brain swelling again and herniating BACK into her spinal canal.  She's done GREAT and over the next 2 months we'll reduce her medication levels further.  We go see Dr. Berry in two months and if she's done well with the continued reduction, she'll be taken OFF Cyclosporine!  A huge feat for Chloe, that wasn't expected to live through all this.  She's had quite a year - Menigoencephalitis, bladder stones, a cystotomy (to remove the stones), ear infections, and nasty side effects from the Prednisone.  Her Cyclosporine cost $200/bottle and we were going through a bottle every 4-5 weeks.  Yikes.  Plus, finding arrangements for the dogs when we leave town was so challenging because of her medication and how crucial it was for it to be given to her at the right time, two times a day.  Thank you Claudia for always taking care of our fur babies when we leave town!

So, that's the last two weeks, in a VERY big nutshell.  

Whatcha lookin' at?  This post is OVER!

We're BACK!

Whew.  What an exhausting couple of weeks!  Sorry I haven't been able to post, things have just been so stinkin' busy!

We just got home about an hour ago - so details to follow soon... just wanted everyone to know we're ALIVE!  It was so fabulous to see so many people that I care so much about.  I definitely wish I was able to do more visiting with all of them!

Off to start unpacking, figuring out what groceries we need (the fridge is EMPTY!), and getting the bambinos back on a schedule!

Busy days of incredibly exciting stuff ahead!

Well, this will be my last post before we head to Colorado!  The events that have taken place this week have been truly incredible.  J, my long lost sister, has been so great to talk to and continues to impress and amaze me.  I'm so proud of her.  It was sounding like it'd be awhile before we'd be able to see each other in person, though... so I was bummed.  However, in the last two days I was able to find a shuttle to get her to the airport (she doesn't have a car), a plane ticket, and convince her I was treating MYSELF by doing all this for her... so she's coming to Colorado TOO!

We arrive tonight about 11:15 pm - ugh.  The kids will be beat, but hopefully it'll mean they'll fall asleep on the flight since they slept on this flight out last time.  When we get to DIA, J will have already arrived - barring any delays on her flights.  She's hoping to meet us at our gate, and if not there then at baggage claim.  It's going to be one of those very public reunions, for sure!  My dad will be there to take us back to my parent's place, and our other sister, S, will be there to take J back to her place for the first night of slumber party central.  ;-)

I can hardly believe that in about 11 hours I'll be officially reunited with J!  I'm so stoked... this still feels pretty surreal.  It's only been... oh, about 15 years now!  

While in Colorado I'm also hoping to get some time in with other friends we've missed.  Elsa - you up for driving down?? ;-)  We know we'll be having some fun with Michael and Julia, which is incredibly exciting, as we've followed their journey for ages!  

Then, after a few days of fun in Colorado, we're off to Chicago to visit my relatives on my mom's side and meet the infamous Luke!  I'm so excited to meet him, and I hope Livi and Ezi pick up on the fact that they will finally be the bigger and stronger babies in the bunch (they've ALWAYS been the youngest!) so maybe they won't try and crawl all over him!  It'll probably end up looking a bit like a cattle roping contest, with me trying to keep them off the poor little guy!

And THEN, after a few days in Chicago, we're headed BACK to Colorado for a few more days of fun before finally returning home.  Whew.  It's going to be a whirlwind 2 weeks for the kids and I!  Joe isn't coming for most of it - he's just helping fly us to Colorado and then coming home after a day there.  Poor Joe... his a total work-a-holic in his new job and doesn't think he's got things squared away ENOUGH to really take any time off.  We'll miss him like crazy... and be doing lots of web conferencing I'm sure so he can see E&O!

So, that's what we'll be up to!  I'll try and update as I can and possibly even post pictures of the big reunion with my sisters!  I'm getting so nervous about it I feel a bit sick to my stomach!  I know I shouldn't be... but I can't help it!  I really thought this day may never come!  Wish us luck on the big adventures about to begin!

Bear crawl

Ezra's newest trick to avoid putting his knees onto hard surfaces... this kid cracks me up.  I remember having to do this as a workout in gym class and it was TIRING!  

Happy 8 months!!!

Wow, what an incredible day this is for us today.  Ezra and Olivia are now 8 (EIGHT!) months old!  It's incredible to think that we've been together as a family longer than they were without us.  We met Ezi & Livi when they were 3.5 months old and came home on April 18th when they were ALMOST four months old.  As I think about all these things, I wonder if they still have any remaining memories of their time in Ethiopia.  Do they remember Toukoul?  Would it feel familiar to them if they were to see the care center again?  Would Ethiopia still have anything "familiar" about it to them?

The changes in Ezi have been truly astounding.  When we met our little man, he was used to laying in his back and soothing himself in the cutest way.  He would hold his right arm up over his head, turn his head to the right, and grab his clothes with his left hand over his heart.  So cute and touching, but so heart wrenching.  This little man had learned to soothe himself at a young age - too young.  His right sided soothing leads me to believe that he was turning into the room at the care center.  We saw their cribs, and this hypothesis is right on I believe.  Little Ezi must have spent a lot of time watching the door and waiting for snuggles and kisses.  

When we first held Ezra, his tiny body was so floppy.  He was so young, but so weak for his age.  Tummy time was like torture and it took a long time to help him build up his upper body strength.  Look at him now!

He talks (still in his own, screeching language), he sits, he crawls, he enjoys making people laugh - currently by shaking his head no over and over again (he doesn't know what it means yet), and he also pulls up to his knees.  He's truly amazing.  He loves to cuddle with his mama and is becoming a bit of a flirt with me.  He stares dreamily into my eyes when I have him strapped into on of our new Ergos (if he's on my front) and smiles whenever I look down at him.  Such a ham!

Olivia is such a strong little girl.  She has flown through physical milestones and is starting to cruise.  She's had a few cruising steps, but isn't doing it very consistently yet.  She loves to grunt LOUDLY as one form of talking and has a love affair with blowing raspberries.  When eating, when crawling around, when climbing on things... spit's always flying!  She's still a peanut, but is definitely so, sooooo much bigger than the day we met her.  She's puttin' on the pounds and it's looking like it's mostly muscle.  Both Livi and Ezi look pretty lean compared to many other babies around their age... but I swear we feed them LOADS of yummy stuff.  They still consume formula like it's going out of style, and have been enjoying more and more foods with more texture.  

Olivia is starting to work on her pincher grasp, and it's coming along.  She now gets Cheerios and puffs into her mouth with relatively frequent success... her only problem is getting it OUT of her hand once she gets it to her mouth!  ;-)  Ezra's doing pretty well with that too, but seems to still be quite content with grunting and squealing at me to request another bite of something be put into his mouth.  Back to Olivia....

She is definitely a mama's girl when she's uncertain about things.  She's getting better at snuggling into me when in a carrier (now the Ergo!) and letting herself sleep/nap this way.  JUST like me, she tends to prefer her own space when sleeping... but recently she's getting better about being flexible about that when we're out and about.  She loves to crawl and climb all over Joe or myself when we're down on the floor playing with them, and has a serious jealousy thing when Ezra's getting cuddled and she's not.  This girl has an attitude and will show it if necessary!

A trait these two keepers of my heart share - CURIOUSITY.  I realize by nature, all babies are pretty curious.  But from DAY 1 with Livi and Ezi, we knew we had some seriously curious kiddos.  People have never believed how young they are because of the level of alertness and curiousness they display.  They're interested in everything, but in recent weeks have really begun to have a real awareness of what the OTHER one has and then MUST have it for themselves.  Olivia is definitely worse than Ezra about this.  She follows him around stealing whatever toy he has, and insists on climbing over or onto Ezra to get it.  She has also discovered the velcro on the back of his diaper and occasionally spends an entire play session chasing him around, climbing on his booty and trying to undo the velcro.  Yikes...

Check this out:

So that's it, in a nutshell.  We have been blessed beyond words with two amazing, miracle babies.  I can hardly believe I get to be their mommy!

Happy 8 month birthday Olivia and Ezra!!!!!!

Photo catch up

A few photos from the last few weeks to catch everyone up on the E&O cuteness around here!

Reconnected to my past...

I can hardly believe I'm typing this.  It's taken me nearly 24 hours to get this post written from the time that the following events conspired.  This is NOT related to our Ethiopian adoption, but to the "failed" adoption of my sisters.

Let me explain - in BRIEF.  :-)  My parents wanted to expand our family through adoption when I was about 9 years old.  When I was 10, we had two incredible sisters join our family through the county's social services' system.  They had endured a life story up to that point that was beyond conceivable (they were 3 & 5 years old then).  We loved these girls unconditionally, but the US foster-adopt system can be... well, I won't type what I think.  Let's just say that social services in that county did some terrible things, and my beautiful sisters were separated and re-homed individually.  They been in our family for over two years when this happened.  After some initial contact with us, their new families felt their attachment to us prevented them from bonding to them, so we were no longer allowed to visit.  (The re-homing had nothing to do with something that happened in our family - it was external factors).  

A miracle happened a few years back - the older sister sent us her high school graduation announcement and invited us to her graduation party.  It was unreal.  Seriously like living in a foggy dream.  What do you say to your "long lost sister" after so many years?  Well, long story short, things have gone very well and we're all very close now.  Our love never left and we now get to enjoy a friendship I thought would never be possible.  I had one of my sisters back - it was a different sisterhood, but it was something.

This was also a constant reminder of our other sister for me.  It nagged at me and made my heart ache more than ever before.  Our younger sister had also lost contact with her bio sister (getting confused?) as well as our family.  Only small second/third hand details were passed along to S (the older of the two) on what had become of J.  We both talked of how we'd love to find her, but from what we heard, she wanted nothing to do with any of us.  So, we reluctantly didn't begin the large-scale search for her in order to respect what we thought were her wishes.

Last week, S decided it was time to find J.  Don't know why she thought NOW was the time, I guess it was because she thought they had a way to track her down.  Anyway, J has been located!  Not only has she been located (after a few false leads!), but I have SPOKEN to her!  I wept and wept yesterday when sister, S, called to tell me she'd spoken with J and J WANTED to talk to myself and my family!  Apparently we'd been told wrong and she'd always wanted to reunite with us!  

J and I spoke for TWO hours yesterday afternoon.  Half the time I was hardly able to form sentences - had our little J really grown up?!  She sounds sooooo different.  Of course she would, but when you haven't spoken to someone since they were 7 years old.... at ALMOST 22 years old now they sound pretty different!  She's truly blowing me away.  I couldn't be more amazed at what she's endured, overcome, and risen above.  There isn't an ounce of weakness in her, I think.  She sounds so mature and couldn't be more sweet and polite.  Wow.  I've fallen in love all over again with my baby sister.  :-D  She's back - and hopefully for good this time!  We're halfway across the country from each other right now, but we're hoping to meet face-to-face soon.  I haven't seen a picture of her yet... so I have no idea what she looks like.  It's weird when I talk to her because I have this vision of her tiny (she was TINY for her age) little self with white-blond hair and her cherubic face with adorable chubby cheeks.  She tells me her hair darkened and she's NEARLY my height!  (She's 5'6", I'm 5'7").  She was so little we all figured she'd be lucky to hit 5'0"!

Ok, enough rambling.  I spoke with her again today for about 45 minutes... this is unbelievably surreal.  I am in total awe.  Thanks for listening to me ramble - I just had to share my joy!  She's doing so well with this "blast from the past."  She spent most of the day yesterday on the phone - talking to S, talking to my parents, talking to me.  It's crazy.  I hope we don't overwhelm her - at this point she tells us she's realizing how much she missed us... but I'm sure that'll wear off soon when she remembers how goofy we all are!  ;-)

Are you racist? LINK FIXED! :-)

There was a link to an interesting study posted on one of the Yahoo Ethiopian Adoptive groups I'm a part of.  It's quite interesting.  Many people have been surprised by their results.  I was relieved to get a response stating "You show little to no preference between European Americans and African Americans."  I really didn't think I would, as I don't consider myself racist, but the study was formed (I believe) to test for underlying racism.

Take the test for yourself and see where you are in the racism spectrum.

Tag - I'm it!

Holy cow!  Katie, you've got me!  I've been tagged for a SAHMBOSS award!  The first time being tagged for me, so hang for some seriously exciting stuff!

So what is the SAHMBOSS award, you ask?  In Porter's words, it's "some kind of annoying prestigious hybrid meme/award thing, which now - thanks to Michele's way with words - will officially be known forever s The Super Awesome Hot Mama Blogger or some shit (SAHMBOSS) meme/award."

Here's how it works:

First, I have to answer a little questionnaire thing all about ME!

Then I have to choose 7 bloggers who I feel are super awesome hot mama bloggers or some shit (see list below) and I "give" them the SAHMBOSS "award."  They will post their own answers to the questionnaire on their own blog and they will choose 7 more recipients.  And so it goes!

Here is the questionnaire:

A.  Attached or single?  Ummm... attached for sure.  To my DH Joey and my kids - the hairy and not so hairy ones!

B. Best friend?  Are we in high school here?  Do we have to pick the BEST one?  Ok, I don't have one.  My mom I guess, followed up by the lovely Claudia.  Yep, that'll have to be it.

C. Cake or pie?  CAKE!  Though, I have come to love pie over the last decade (hated it before due to the texture).

D. Day of choice?  Saturday.  Most definitely.  No work, family's together, love it!

E. Essential item?  LAPTOP!  I can't be without the stupid thing for long or I feel so disconnected from the world! 

F. Favorite color?  PINK, so cool, I know!

G. Gummy bears or worms?  Worms.  I hate worms soooo much, so maybe that gives me a rush when I eat a gummy worm.  Honestly though, I don't really LOVE either.  I pretty much never have them.

H. Hometown?  Not sure - where I live NOW or where I'm originally from?  And if it's where I'm "originally" from, is that where I lived the longest growing up, or where I lived as a child.  Right now, I'll go with Berthoud, CO - home prior to being a married woman.

I. Indulgence?  TV and crappy food.  I am a couch potato whenever I can be and I love ice cream and other not-so-healthy food.  NOT a good combo!

J. January or July?  July - love the summer!

K. Kids?  Two amazing babies - our twins Ezra and Olivia, two miniature dachshunds, and one malamute.  Yep, it's a full house!

L. Life isn't complete without? My family!

M. Marriage date?  June 18, 2005 (our 5 year dating anniversary!)

N. Number of brothers and sisters?  One brother and two girls that will always be my sisters in my heart.

O. Oranges or apples?  Either, can't decide.

P. Phobias?  Worms.  I kid you not when I say I HATE worms. I'll cry if I touch one or when it rains and they cover the sidewalks.  It makes it HARD to garden... which I love to do!  :-(

Q. Quotes? "Live, Laugh, Love"

R. Reasons to smile? My family, friends, and most definitely my fur kids!

S. Season of choice?  Summer or fall - I love the summer but also enjoying the changing leaves and cooling weather of the fall.

T. Tag seven peeps! (see below)

U. Unknown fact about me?  I'm a bit OCD.  I hate to have things put away in the "wrong" place and will actually put off cleaning tasks when they mount up because when I DO clean it has to be PERFECT.  Quite exhausting, actually.  I hide this little trait of mine as best I can!

V. Vegetable?  I love most all veggies!!

W. Worst habits?  I'm with Katie on this - stress eating!

X. X-ray or ultrasound?  Ultrasound - they can actually be relaxing.  I had to have physical therapy for my knee in middle school and 3 times a week they did ultrasound on it before therapy... definitely soothing!

Y. Your favorite food?  Tough question!  I love beef and noodles, steak and a baked potato, spaghetti, the list really goes on and on (and this is NOT including DESSERT foods!).

Z. Zodiac sign?  Libra

I'm tagging: 

1. Julia

2. Kerith

3. Tara

4. Leslie

5. Jodi

6. Holly

7. Laurie

NEW LAPTOP!!!

Yep, that's right.  I'm back in business!  I received my new laptop in the mail yesterday and have been incredibly busy transferring all the ridiculous amount of *stuff* I have from my old machine to my new one.  In the meantime, I have to apologize for a lack of photos.  As soon as I get everything transferred and my software installed, I'll be back in full force!  Oh, and once I get all happy and settled into my new laptop, I'll share what I got for all those interested.  :-D

More Blog Union photos

Ok, so here are the photos WE took at the BU...

Hooray for matching shirts!

Did you hear that we're going to the beach?

Gee mom, that's SHOCKING news! Where's my sunblock?!

A late evening and they're still looking cute after a big day!

Excuse me, where's my chai latte?

Halt! Who goes there?!

This camping out stuff is fun!

Isa B looking coy

The lovely ladies, Livi & Isa